To Give More...

"To give more than we had, we gave of ourselves.... As we gave of ourselves, we found that there is so much to give." Nauvoo Pageant Script

This in a small way expresses how I felt after the dress rehearsal tonight. Wow. I've never sweat so much in my life and never has sweating like that ever felt SO GOOD. Maybe because it was consecrated sweat... Really, I believe every one of us on stage tonight gave it our all and I hardly heard any complains about the sweat. Yeah, the other ladies and I commented on how we were lifting our dresses and moving them around to fan ourselves a little, but other than that, I only heard a couple people on stage say anything about it... we were so involved in portraying those who lived here. For those of you who have never been to Nauvoo or haven't seen the pageant, that may sound a bit cheesy, but it's not. They really are here and we feel them as we perform. I almost completely lost myself on stage tonight and it felt so good. Tonight I wanted to represent my ancestor Susannah Houston who was married to Benjamin Trotter Mitchell, who carved the first sunstone of the Navuoo temple.

Despite the little mishaps that happened, I feel great about the performance. The only thing I feel is that I can give MORE. The core-cast are such great examples of really trying to lose themselves on stage, so much that as we have small conversations, we are talking as if we were really those people in that scene, even though no one in the audience can hear us. It really makes a huge difference.

As I am thinking about tonight's performance, I have a hard time remembering things because I just feel like it wasn't me up there at all. The moments I remember are the moments I returned back to myself and was thinking too much about where I should be or what I should be doing instead of just BEING. I have never been a performer, but being on this stage feels like home. I wasn't even nervous to go on... I was excited. I really felt like I was bearing my testimony as I spoke the "language" of my mission.

Afterwards we had only a little bit of time to talk to people and I ended up talking to a family from Yellow cast who will be rehearsing this week. I surprised myself and some of the things I told them. Funny how one week here makes me an "expert" and really want to share some tips to help them make this experience the best it can be.

I want to give more and more and more... not just this week, but for years to come.