This month has been absolutely crazy busy, but I still can't believe it's the middle of March already. Not that I'm complaining, because I'm definitely happy about that! This week's spring weather was just what I needed. It's made me excited to hike and be outdoors doing whatever I want to. The only problem with that is I still have 9 more weeks of work and I work indoors 7 of the 8 hours I'm there. So, in addition to everything else I'm suffering, I'm suffering from Spring fever.
Work is still stressful and draining. I can't get into why, but I can say that this warm, sunny weather has helped me be a little more energetic, optimistic, and able to cope with everything a lot better than I have been recently.
The biggest challenge this month was caring for my grandma. She went into the hospital to have something fixed on her pacemaker and they ended up giving her a whole new one. Then, her heart started beating too fast, so they performed another surgery, which has left her weak and unable to do much on her own, including walk without feeling dizzy. I drove back and forth between PG and Provo almost everyday after work to visit her and do whatever I needed to do to help her. I also kept her kids and other families and friends posted on her condition. It is a big job and very draining as well.
A week ago she was released from the hospital and went into a rehabilitation center. It took some convincing to get her there, but I knew that I would feel better about her being there than at home alone. At that point she couldn't walk far without becoming dizzy and she couldn't really dress herself or get herself up from the toilet by herself. She's made some progress in the past week, but I'm still worried. She is able to walk further with her walker without becoming dizzy. She also is able to get herself dressed, although she has to do it slow or in parts because she has a difficult time breathing. Her circulation problem is causing her feet and legs to turn purple and be numb or tingly. She was pretty swollen before she went into the hospital, but her stomach and legs have become even more swollen, so much that none of her pants fit her anymore. Her ankles and feet aren't swollen anymore, though. Her heart is operating at 20% efficiency, so it doesn't surprise me that she has these symptoms, but it's still hard to see her so uncomfortable (and maybe a little unhappy).
The rehab center is better than the hospital and better than being home, as much as I know she wants to be at home. At home I know she won't exercise as much, which is what she needs to do if her heart is to become stronger. I think at this point she might do alright by herself during the day, but it's hard to know for sure. I just know that knowing she is being taken care of when I am away from home for work or other activities has been quite a relief. With that said, I'm nervous to have her home again because of the anxiety and feeling like I would have to be home with her more than I have been in the past because she would need me more.
So, work is work and home is work.... It means I'm worn out and have little energy to do much. It also means I have to say no to doing things I want to or should do so I can rest and have some "me" time. I haven't had much "me" time, but I'm trying to be better at making it happen. And sometimes the only answer is having some homemade peanut butter ice cream. Yep. I need to get some more ice cream...
Next Tuesday I'm meeting with the rehab center therapists to talk about what needs to happen to meet Grandma's needs and see how soon she can come home again.
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