Here Goes Nothing...

For those of you who are tired of me posting videos, you'll be happy to see that this post doesn't include a video. I figured it's been a while since I've actually written a post. I know not very many people really read this, but for those of you who do, here goes nothing...

Like I mentioned in a previous post, I've started to work in the Provo Temple. Tomorrow night I begin training to work upstairs as an ordinance worker. I'll work upstairs for a couple hours and then go downstairs to the baptistry for a couple hours. I've always dreamed of becoming a temple worker, so I'm so excited to finally have the opportunity to serve. Yeah, it takes away a date night, but, let's be honest, how often do I actually go on dates? Anyway, I feel like it will be time well spent and worth whatever sacrifices I may have to make as I work there.

I'm busier than I've been in a long time, doing all good things, of course. Every night I have something. I like it that way. I realized a while ago that when I didn't have things planned, I wasted my time doing... nothing. Having things each night forces me to use the time I have more wisely. It also gives me something to look forward to each day. Recently I've also been reading a lot more. I was introduced to the author Brandon Sanderson and I love his books!! I've already read two of them and I'm now working on The Way of Kings, which is a really long one.

Currently, my church callings are ward and stake family history co-chair. I LOVE it! I do miss going to Sunday School each week (because I have a family history class at that time), but I really enjoy helping people begin researching or indexing. It's fun to be a part of something that the Church is really emphasizing right now and seeing all the new fun programs being created to help make family history easier.

Even though the children I teach have seemed more difficult this year, I still LOVE my job. The past couple of weeks I've had so many moments with the kids while teaching them or playing with them that remind me why I love being a preschool teacher. I love my kids and can't wait to have some of my own.

With that being said, this past week I've been thinking a lot about my job and where I intend to go with it. My home teacher asked me what my career plan was and then I had a discussion with my aunt about it a few days later. On my drive from CA this past weekend, I had a lot of time to think about the things they said. I've looked into somethings and decided that my career goal is to work as a preschool (or kindergarten) teacher in a public school. Seems simple enough, right? Well, not exactly. I graduated from BYU with a BS in Marriage, Family, Human Development. I had no desire and no intention to be a teacher. In fact, in high school I was determined that I wouldn't be a teacher because it seemed like every girl wanted to be a teacher as if that was the only profession a woman could have. I wanted to go against the grain. Well, so much for that. After graduation, preschool teaching was suggested to me by a friend. I was desperate, so I applied even though I had no experience and didn't know if I'd like it. Now, 6 school years later, I've come to love it.

What I don't love is the pay. I get paid less than half a regular teacher. Honestly, if I had a family, I would qualify to send my kids to Head Start. That's just sad. I do have good benefits, though. :) But I want more. I hate literally living pay check to pay check being unable to save any money. With budget cuts, I'm being paid even less than I was a couple of years ago, and that's even with a 3% raise I got last year. I always owe taxes each year, too. It stinks.

So, something needs to change. Some schools in this area are now offering preschool as part of their elementary program. In order to teach preschool (or kindergarten) in a public school, I have to have a teaching license. Having not studied education at BYU, there are only a couple of options for me to get this license. First, go back to school. Either get a masters in Education or get another BS in Early Childhood Education. Second, do the Alternative Route to Licensure (ARL) program. ARL is a process where the Utah State Education looks at my transcripts to see if I've taken enough of the right classes to qualify me to become a licensed teacher. Once I'm deemed qualified, I look for a job in a teaching position. Once I'm hired, a plan is created for me to take the necessary classes I'd need to become a licensed teacher. I'd have to take the Praxis II exam as well.

One problem. After looking at my transcripts to see if I'd qualify, I discovered that I am literally ONE credit shy of meeting the minimum credit requirement. That means I'd have to take a class- either political science or Math- before I can even apply for the ARL.

If you haven't already guessed, I'm going with the second option- mainly because it will be cheaper and quicker than going back to school for a masters or another BS. Taking the one class through BYU independent study will cost about $650. All totaled, to get my license, it will likely cost at least $1,000. That is much cheaper than going back to school. Granted, I don't know how much the classes will cost to take while doing the ARL, but at least I'd already be teaching in the school at that time. So now I just have to somehow save all that money. I don't know how, but it's my new goal.

Okay, now to the other thing I kind of mentioned. Dating. I succumbed to my friends' suggestions to try out online dating... again. I'd tried it a few years ago and it was a terrible experience summed up in three words- wierdos and creeps. Since I don't have anything to lose, I thought I would give it an honest second chance. I signed up on two online dating sites, different ones than I did a few years ago. So far it has been a much different experience. I'm not getting the wierdos and creeps, which is nice. However, the profile picture I originally put up brought a lot of attention from the wrong kinds of guys. It definitely boosted my confidence in my looks, but those are not the kinds of guys I want to date. I also seem to attract people from other races. It's not a bad thing, I just am not really interested in dating someone from a different race. (Please don't take that the wrong way, I'm not racist, I promise.) It was more from one of the sites than the other.

The other thing I noticed is that online dating seems to be the polar opposite of meeting and dating in person. They are so bold and nearly overbearing when it comes to wanting to date seriously and get married. Whenever a guy says (in his profile or in the midst of a conversation) that what he is doing for fun is just focusing on finding a girlfriend or someone to marry or when he says that he really wants to have the experience of becoming a father, I think to myself, isn't that why we are all on here? You don't need to keep saying it. And you seriously should not put your life on hold to look for someone to date and marry. You should have goals, live your life and enjoy it. When they say the obvious in the conversations, it seems to put more pressure on the whole conversation, making it really hard to build the possible friendship that could happen. Going from strangers to dating is just not going to happen. At least not for me anyway. Sorry.

There are pros and cons to online dating. The two edge sword is that you can message, chat, or flirt with someone and they can choose to respond or not. They can also choose to stop talking to you whenever if they decide they have learned enough about you to not be interested. You can't get too hurt because you've never met them and there are others you can talk to. I've received messages and invites to chat that I've completely ignored as well, so I totally understand that guys would do the same to me. Because I'm giving it an honest chance, I've sent many messages and flirts. I've not received many responses, but at least I'm trying.

Since I started online dating, I feel more confident in who I am and in my appearance. I am who I am and it doesn't matter if someone likes me for it or not. To know that there are guys that I do attract, some really good ones, is a real confidence booster. I've found that I have greater confidence when I'm talking (and flirting) with guys in person and with that confidence I'm happier overall. I think it's because I have a better idea of what I want. I also have a better idea of how I can talk to guys to get to know them better. I'm only trying this online dating thing for a month, but I've learned a lot in the little bit of time I've done it. 

I had to ultimately disable my account on the one site because I was feeling so uneasy about the kinds of guys that were messaging me. I feel okay continuing the other one until my month subscription ends. We shall see what happens with it. Here goes nothing...