Progress

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, it's been really crazy. About two weeks ago or so I went home as a surprise to my family! I loved being home, of course. The best part of being home is going back to be a child again where I'm dependent on my Mommy and don't have any responsibilities. I wish I could be completely free of responsibility when I go home, but what I got was close enough. The second best thing was that I could do absolutely nothing if I wanted to. I love watching TV shows with my family. Amanda was getting last minute things ready for college, so we went shopping, too. I finally bought a new computer with my bonus money, which is awesome! It was nice to have my dad help me set that up.

Miraculously, we were able to fit all of Amanda's things into two cars. She has LOTS of clothes, mostly. It was fun to drive back with her thinking about how from now on, whenever I go home, she will be going with me.

We got Amanda settled into her new apartment, which is in the same complex that I used to live in. I'm very excited for her to begin her own college experience. Her roommates are already better than my first ones were, by far. We went to her ward this past Sunday, which was fun because I know about a dozen people who still live there. It was great to see them, but at the same time it was hard to be back there because it reminded me of everything that I left behind to live with my grandma. I know I am where I am supposed to be, but it took a whole day for me to internally accept that again. Thankfully, my family was patient and kind enough to put up with me as I went through that again.

My parents left on Tuesday. Amanda has called or texted me everyday with different questions and I love it. I enjoyed escorting her to her first class and seeing all the other freshman that are just as new and confused as she is. I laughed out loud right in front of them because I remember being in their spot many years ago.

On Wednesday I had a date to the rodeo. It was fun. I asked him for his number a few weeks ago and originally invited him to dinner, but changed it to the rodeo. Don't know if there will be another date, but I hope so.

As most of you know, I've been inviting guys and girls over for dinner whenever I tried out a new recipe for Grandma. This week I've decided that I most likely won't be doing that anymore. Maybe I'll invite girls, but not boys. Mainly it's because Grandma's condition is progressing and it's a little too much to introduce to a guy on a first date, or a second date for that matter. Part of my adjustment when I came back from home was seeing the state my grandma was in when I came back. I won't get into details, but I will say that her short term memory is getting worse. She's to the point where she struggles to find the right words or phrases to tell me something and there isn't enough said to even put the pieces together of what she is trying to say. She's also had some confusion on the day and what time it is, which has caused confusion and mistakes in taking her meds. So, this week I've had to change some of the ways I do things to help lessen the confusion and possible mistakes with medicine. It's not too hard, but it is a lot of work and emotional energy. Most of all, it's needed patience and charity.

I looked up dementia online (I know, not the greatest resource) and I believe that she is in stage 5 of the 7 stages of dementia. Maybe on the boarder of 4 and 5. She's not diagnosed or anything, but that is what I think. The doctor said he wants to take care of her heart first before trying to do anything with her memory problems. As for her heart, her legs and stomach are swollen up again, but still 20 pounds less than she was at her greatest weight.

Tomorrow my cousin is coming to help me with Grandma for a week. The following week my uncle and his family of 9 1/2 kids are coming to visit for two weeks. I am afraid that will tire Grandma out, but I'm glad they are coming so that others will see the state she is in and help me know how to take care of her.

Today I'm going to have a day with Amanda. We are going to the mall so she can get some things she needs for her job and then we are getting pedicures. This afternoon we are going to watch Brave, which I am very excited about. I'm super excited to see the short that comes before it. :)

Where Birds Still Sing at Midnight

I know I said this in my last post, but life is good, really good. On Monday I drove home for a surprise visit to my family, particularly my sister for her birthday. I've always wanted to do that and it was fun. It feels good to be home again and to be home longer than I normally am able to be.

I got my second installment of my bonus this week, so I finally purchased a new computer. My laptop has had at least 2 heart transplants and was on it's last leg, so after 6 years, I got a desktop computer. It's a Mac, of course. I'm loving it! It is SO much faster than my laptop and I can actually do more than one thing at a time without fearing something bad might happen. And, I can finally have all my music and pictures on my computer again rather than on an external drive. Best of all,  I finally have the new imovie that I can do slideshows and movies with. :)

I was originally thinking to also get a new TV with the bonus, but changed my mind to getting new clothes and other stuff that I've been needing. It's something I don't usually do, so it's kind of fun.

My little sis is having a birthday party tomorrow night and the house will be all decked out with blue and white for BYU. She's turning 18 and going to college! Man, so I feel old! But I'm very happy and excited for her.

I have a Taco Bell date with one of my brothers today and planning to go to the beach on Monday. Mostly, we are all just hanging out. Tonight we have our good friends the Hoyts coming to stay with us, so it will be a full house. I've been sleeping on the couch as it is, but not I'll be on a blowup mattress in my sister's room.

Something that I noticed and love about my house is that there are always birds singing outside, even after midnight. Seriously. The other day when I was talking to my family on the phone, I could hear the birds singing outside. It's awesome to be home and enjoy it in person. 

Happy is as Happy does

Life is good. School's out for the summer and Grandma is doing a lot better (after losing 30 pounds of water weight). I'm still cooking for her, but she doesn't need as much help as she has had these past few months. I love learning how to make new meals and inviting people over to share it with us. It's been a great way to get to know and make new friends. This past month I've worked on a couple different projects that have made me very excited. The first is I scrapbooked. That always makes me happy, especially to watch TV shows and movies while I do it. The main project I've been working on is upgrading my basement. That's the best way to put it. Although this sounds a little tacky, with the help of my friends, I hung up sheets and curtains on the unfinished walls and put up paper on one wall. I'm planning to get a new TV with my bonus as well as pictures to hang on the walls to make it a very home-y place. After that, I will have movie nights or whatever. Since Grandma doesn't sleep in her room anymore, I can do that and the noise won't bother her.

With my bonus and summer pay (yay!), I'm planning to buy some things I've been needing/wanting for a while. Today I bought a new swimsuit. :) Tomorrow I'm thinking to get the next season of Chuck that I don't own yet.

This summer I'm planning to go on lots of hikes and go to lots of plays. I only realized recently how much I enjoy going to plays, even by myself. I made a page long list of all the plays that are going on and I know I'm missing some.

The thing I am most excited about is my sister is coming to BYU this summer! It will be awesome to have my sister nearby at last! It's only hard to believe that she is starting college.... Man, do I feel old.

Overall, I'm happy... and that is the best feeling ever.

 

Rock Climbing at The Quarry... I set a new record height and didn't freak out nearly as much!

First UT Temple Tour Trip with Laura

Homemade pizza with Italian herb crust. YUM

End of Work

Basement Project

Last Day of School Fun

My morning class--Cute kids, huh?

Happiness is Homemade

I've made some small, but significant changes in my life in the past week that have really helped me to finally feel genuinely happy again. It's been a hard year so far, but things are getting better and I am growing. Grandma is doing significantly better, although she is not exactly back to where she was before the surgeries in February. She is doing most everything on her own again. I have concerns still, but not as many worries about her, which is nice. Things have settled somewhat, at least for the time being.

One change I've made is I'm making low-sodium meals for Grandma and me. I bought two cookbooks and I absolutely love them. I'm very excited to learn how to cook new foods and use spices/seasonings other than salt. I invite someone over to eat with us most every time I cook because there is always too much for the two of us to eat. There are always leftovers! So far I've made chicken fettuccine and pork roast with sweet potatoes. I also made home made BBQ sauce. So far so good. It feels good. I really enjoy inviting people over to share the meal because it is giving me a great opportunity to get to know new people as well as get to know people I already know, better. I've already seen the blessings of doing this, so I'm exited to keep going with it.

The other thing I've started is indexing through familysearch.org. Wow. I kind of wish I'd started sooner because I really like it. I do have lots of other family history things I need to work on, but it's a really easy and fairly quick way to do family history and know that I am making a difference.

Tonight my ward, along with two other wards, hiked to the G on the mountain in PG. It was a lot of fun. That is a big deal for me to say because I actually REALLY HATE that hike. But this time it wasn't so bad and I think it's because I was surrounded by my friends who were going as slow and breathing as hard as I was. This time I hiked to the top of the G. That's hard after a tiring hike, but I did it! It was a great way to begin the season of hiking.

Shirt says, "What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's"

At the bottom of the G with Heather

At the top of the G. I could see my house from there, but not the bottom.

Scripture that's been helping me this past little while:

D&C 122: 5-7
"Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee, for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever."

Happy Thoughts

I am starting to scrapbook again.

I bought 2 low-sodium cookbooks so I can really start cooking good foods!

Grandma is getting stronger and stronger everyday, doing more things for herself, which makes her happy, too!

Also bought the book called The Mansion by Henry Van Dyke

Listening to Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief in my car.

My parents love me and know just what to say when I need it most. They are amazing.

Tomorrow is new day.

Just like Mom.... Almost

My current life, in a nutshell.

My uncle thought I was crazy taking pictures with a roast.

Finally beginning to use the apron that I bought last Dec.

This one SCREAMS Martha Stewart, doesn't it?

The other day as I drove my grandma to a doctor's appointment, my grandma asked me if I felt like I was a mom. I didn't hesitate to answer yes, I actually do. Her asking that made me realize how much of what I am doing really is just like a mom would do. This past month or so has required me to make many adjustments and personal sacrifices for my grandma's care. It's hard work, especially when I'm already worn out from my full-time job. I feel like things are beginning to settle as I have almost figured out all of my routine responsibilities I now have. I say almost only because it seems like everyday brings something new, and with my grandma's health only declining, I'm sure in the future there WILL be more I will have to do for her.

I want to give you an idea of what I do everyday. Granted, I can't possibly say everything that I do and it's most likely that all this may seem like not much to anyone else.

Wake up between 6 and 6:30 AM.
Wake up grandma around 6:40/ 7 AM to take medicine.
7:30 AM Wake grandma again. Ask what she wants to eat and make it. Put on either ted hose or ace wrap on her legs. Unplug phones and put them by her chair so she can reach them.
8 AM-4:30 PM Working with preschoolers. While I'm at work, I've arranged for someone to come at lunchtime to help grandma make lunch and remember to take her medicines. During the day, on different days, she has a shower aide come, physical therapists, and a home health nurse come to check on her and help her. They call me if they have questions or concerns. I'm kind of the coordinator and work very closely with the nurse to make sure grandma has all her needs met.
4:45/Evening Get mail. Make dinner and give her meds. Help grandma with whatever she might need.
Clean kitchen, bathrooms, do laundry (mine or hers), vacuum. Some nights I have YSA activities at 7 pm that I go to, so I don't have much time to do what I need to do, if I go.
About 10 PM Take off her ted hose, wash them (remember to hang dry them). Plug in phones.Turn off lights and TV if Grandma is going to sleep. She sleeps in the TV room chair now.

I take off a little bit of work whenever she needs to go to the doctor. I deposit her checks in the bank and get things we both need at the store. The good thing is that I'm gaining a lot of experience that will help me be an awesome cook and most importantly, an awesome mom! In fact, I made some A-MAZ-ING enchiladas on Friday for my grandma's 80th birthday. Tonight I made roast with onions, carrots, and potatoes.

Because I've had so little time for myself lately, I've started listening to audiobooks in my car. My car is MY TIME. I love it! I haven't had much of a social life, but I'm hoping to continue making tweeks to my routine to allow for that, too. I know I need a break, BADLY. Fortunately, this coming week is spring break. I'm not sure what I will do, but whatever it is, it will be what I need to get myself happy and fill my cup again. Today filled my cup quite a bit, which felt SO good. :)