Michelle's Adventures: April 2009

Here is the account of the happenings in my apartment on April Fool's Day given by my roommate with permission:

It started with the stroke of genius. Dying Lynnae's milk green. See, Lynnae is a milkaholic, and her milk really means everything to her. It was a near guarantee that she would be having milk for part of her breakfast, because she always does, and lunch, and dinner, and snack. That girl goes through about a gallon and a half a week, all by herself. Anyway, I jumped up and hurried into the kitchen, trying to calm my nervously giggling self with the assurance that I wouldn't get caught, because Lynnae had been up until 3:00 with me, and would still be asleep at 9:30. Well... unfortunately, I forgot that she was meeting a friend and had to shower and do hair and makeup and all that, plus have time to get to wherever she was meeting him. So, she got up like 3 minutes after I had greened her milk. And I mean this was REALLY green. I accidentally put in more than just a couple drops, so it looked like homemade play-dough. Gross! Anyway, I had to leave before she did, so I was disappointed that I would miss her reaction. Lucky for me, she was in too much of a hurry and didn't eat breakfast! So, I came home from school at the same time as her... and I got to witness it. It went something like this.
“Yeah, I was telling my dad that... WHUA??? WHAT IS THIS???”
I had just left the room, and quickly jumped back, looking innocent and curious, and maybe a little confused. “What just happened?”
“Somebody dyed my milk green!!!”
I let my eyes widen and my mouth drop into a wide-open grin. “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! That is freaking hilarious! Who did that?!”
“I don't know!” she answered, then yelled, “Michelle! Was it you?”
Michelle came into the room and saw the milk. She half laughed in a, “Wow, that is kinda mean but really funny” sort of way and said, “No, it wasn't me. I swear.”
Lynnae set the milk down, firmly and resolutely. “Oh, I know. It was Angela. It was SO Angela. That is so something Angela would do. Alright, what can I do to get her back?”
And that, my dear brother, is what started it all. Lynnae embarked on a quest to avenge the dying of her milk, and began plotting evil things to do to Angela and Katrine, because I suggested Katrine might have been willing to do it to. She wasn't completely positive which one it was, but had pretty much settled on Angela, yet decided to get Katrine too, just for good measure. We plotted evil things for a while, before she came up with a stroke of genius. She took Katrine's shoes and loaded them into her bed, under her blankets, then slipped pennies beneath her sheets, for a sort of “princess and the pea” effect. Then, we combined efforts against Angela, Katrine and Janelle too, just so my dear engaged roommate wouldn't be left out. We took all the clothes out of Katrine's closet, and put them in Angela's closet, and Angela's clothes in Janelle's closet and Janelle's clothes in Katrine's closet.
Then came my brilliance. Michelle. In the process of loading Katrine's clothes into Angela's closet, (Angela and Michelle share a room), I noticed Michelle's teddy bear, affectionately named Belle, sitting on the edge of her bed. My first thought was to dress Belle in something funky, but I decided that robbing Michelle's underwear directly out of her drawer might make her feel just a little too violated. So, I came up with a much more brilliant idea. Kidnapping. Ransom. I took duct tape, folded it in half, and made hand cuffs, a blind fold and a gag. Then, I had to come up with a villain name for my dark deeds. With a little help from Lynnae, the resident “word nerd,” I became “The Nefarious Lady Death-Moon.” Next was the ransom note. It said, “Mommy Michelle help me! The Nefarious Lady Death-Moon wants a million dollars in quarters by sunrise. Leave it in the dumpster. No cops or I will get it!” Then, I took a picture of poor Belle, bound, gagged, blindfolded and holding the note, printed it out, and placed it upon Michelle's pillow. Then I hid the bear.
I almost blew it with the note. Michelle saw it and said, “Savannah, this sounds just like something you would do.”
I should have known that note was too much like my sense of humor. Lynnae saved me on that one, though. Our reactions to seeing the note were convincing enough that she wasn't sure, so she actually asked, “Did you guys do it?” Lynnae, who had nothing to do with it other than helping me figure out a name said, “No, I promise we didn't do it.” Because we didn't. I did it. Mua ha ha!
She is currently texting James, because I asked him to tell her he knows who did it, then pin it on our friend, Jonny Weiss. James is brilliant, because he played with her through text, answering all of her questions honestly but still not revealing anything. Well, all but one. I put her up to asking if the perpetrator's name started with J. He answered that yes, it did, which wasn't exactly honest because my name just doesn't start with J...
We are evil, no?
It gets better.
So, Lynnae decided, to further her vengeance against Angela for the milk thing, to ceran wrap her bed. Unfortunately, we had no saran wrap. So, it was off to the dollar store. We got ceran wrap... and silly string... and girls' underwear to dress Janelle's teddy bear with. See, she has this cute baseball bear wearing a flannel shirt and white shorts. I covered the shorts with pink underwear, then put the young teenager's bra under the shirt, which I left open.
Anyway, we came home with our saran wrap, then attacked Angela's bed. It was the funniest thing to watch Lynnae try to fit herself beneath that mattress as we wrapped it three times. But, we couldn't do it on our own... so we got Janelle to help. The three of us girls were in the process of wrapping her bed, when the door opened. We freaked out, because we thought it was Angela. You should have seen Lynnae, stuck beneath the mattress on the top bunk, launch herself out and over the side. Then Michelle walked in, and we realized we were okay. The look on her face, as she opened the door to discover three girls surrounding her bed, all of which had wide, guilty eyes, clearly said, “Oh no. What are they doing???” Followed by, “Phew! Angela, not me.”
Well, we're still waiting for Angela and Katrine to get home, and Janelle to get back home.
James just revealed to Michelle that the culprit behind the abduction of her darling Belle was the nefarious Jonny Weiss. She's plotting revenge now. I truly wonder how tangled this web of deception will become.
There was one more thing. James came over after sending some very suspicious texts. We knew he was up to something, but we got to him first. As soon as he walked through the door, we bombarded him with silly string. We quickly learned that we were right. He was up to something. He was bringing over a surprise loaf of caramel apple bread to thank Lynnae for her help editing his paper.
Oops. : )
This is a little bit later. Angela just came home. Actually, back up a little. Before she came home, James got his hands on my bottle of silly string. I mauled him. He won. : ( Dang guy dumped me over his head when I tried to tackle him. I got a rug burn on my elbow and skewered myself with my own fingernail.
Anyway, Angela came in. She went in her room. She came back out. She went back in. Next we heard, “I hate you guys.” Unfortunately, she'd had a bad day, so while she kinda laughed and said that any other day she would have been laughing her butt off, it didn't quite have the desired effect.
Katrine was really funny, though. She came in and saw what we did to Angela, then got wide eyes and said, “What did you do to me???” It took her a while to discover her clothes, and I never did see what happened when she found her bed loaded with shoes, but she had a good laugh.
Anyway, so Jonny came over later, and Michelle cornered him. I had sent him a text, warning him that I'd blamed him for a prank I'd played on Michelle, and the poor guy was like, “I didn't do it! I swear! I didn't!” Lynnae goes and gets the ransom note, so he can see what the prank was, and thrusts it at him with an accusatory, “Does this look familiar to you?” He read it and started laughing, but still insisting he was innocent. I started busting up. That was about the point Michelle figured everything out, that I'd set Jonny up. She was like, “I knew it was you! I knew it! That note was just like something you would do!” Yeah... I blew it with the note. Dang! Next time I pull something like that, I'll have to have somebody else write the note. Anyway, after that she made me take pictures with the kidnapped bear, and it was awesome. : )
So, that was my April Fool's day.
Oh, and just so you can get a visual, here are some pictures: