Festival of Colors and the Temple

Once again I went to the Festival of Colors, but this time it was even better because I was with my two best friends, too! We went to the first throwing of the colors, so it wasn't as crowded when we first got there. We danced an Indian dance in the temple and it was quite a work out! Despite breathing in all the chalk-like stuff, I had a lot of fun coloring and being colored. What a way to welcome in Spring!

Picture by Jessica Bingham, not me. :D

  

As a side note, this morning I thought a lot about going to the Hindi temple and compared it to the LDS temple. The festival is a kind of religious tradition or maybe even ritual to the Hindus. We join in with them because it's a festival and lots of fun, but for them, saying the Mantra (which they sing sometime after throwing the colors) is a spiritual experience and they believe it can sanctify them as they say it. The announcer also said that they believe this festival was started by Krishna (their deity) himself some 5,000 or 10,000 years ago so he felt like he was following in his footsteps. Being LDS, this reminded me of how I go to the temple to do the same thing-to follow in Christ's footsteps by receiving all the ordinances of the temple so I can become like Him. Although the festival was fun, I am very grateful that LDS temples are much different. The blessings of participating are much more than being sanctified and they last beyond the moment of participation--they last for eternity. Granted, I don't honestly know a lot about Hindu temple worship or all they believe they receive from it, but I do know LDS temples operate because we have the restored fullness of the Gospel and with that, the activities we participate in the temple are infused with a power and sacred feeling that no member of the church can take lightly. I don't just go to the temple, I live so I can keep that power that I feel in the temple with me where ever I go everyday.

Here are some verses from the scriptures that I feel make the LDS temple different and very important to me: 

They all come from Doctrine and Covenants 109:

8Organize yourselves; ^aprepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a ^bhouse of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of ^corder, a ^dhouse of God;

12That thy ^aglory may rest down upon thy people, and upon this thy house, which we now dedicate to thee, that it may be sanctified and consecrated to be holy, and that thy holy presence may be continually in this house;

20And that no ^aunclean thing shall be permitted to come into thy house to ^bpollute it;

22And we ask thee, Holy Father, that thy servants may go forth from this house armed with thy power, and that thy ^aname may be upon them, and thy glory be round about them, and thine ^bangels have charge over them;

35Let the ^aanointing of thy ministers be sealed upon them with power from on high.

38Put upon thy servants the ^atestimony of the covenant, that when they go out and proclaim thy word they may ^bseal up the law, and prepare the hearts of thy saints for all those judgments thou art about to send, in thy wrath, upon the inhabitants of the ^cearth, because of their transgressions, that thy people may not faint in the day of trouble.

Congested Heart Failure

One of the many reasons why I am moving is because my grandma Kelly was recently diagnosed with Congested Heart Failure. I did some research to learn more about what is happening to her so I can know how to help, and this is what I found.

All the following info is from this site : http://www.chfpatients.com/CHFinfo.htm

CHF stands for congestive heart failure. CHF is not a kind of heart disease. Heart disease is called cardiomyopathy and it's cardiomyopathy that causes heart failure. Heart failure is the set of symptoms that hit you when your heart can't pump enough blood to meet your body's needs. It's called congestive because fluid settles in your lungs, "congesting" you. Honestly, I usually think of CHF as meaning Chronic Heart Failure.
Your lungs take the oxygen you breathe in and put it into your blood. Your heart pumps that oxygen-rich blood out of your lungs into the rest of your body. Your other organs and tissues get a good drink of oxygen-rich blood and then it goes back through your lungs, picking up oxygen again. The heart pumps it out again and again and again - we hope.
A weakened heart can't pump hard enough to keep up with this cycle. It receives more blood from the lungs than it can pump out into the body with each heart beat. The blood it can't handle backs up, spilling over into the lungs and other tissues. Cells get waterlogged. This causes swelling called edema.
This swelling often happens in the ankles and legs first. That's because gravity pulls the backed-up, "loose" fluid straight down. The fluid also backs up into your lungs, which makes it hard to breathe. When you're lying down, gravity isn't pulling the fluid out of your lungs down into your feet, so it is even harder to breathe.
With proper treatment, you may live a long time with heart failure.
CHF is a chronic illness because it doesn’t go away and generally worsens over time.  Although the symptoms can be treated, the disease cannot be cured. (This is something I think my grandma has a hard time understanding.)
The two questions I hear most are, "How long do I have?" and "Can I be cured?" No one knows how long you have - not the doctors, not me, not anyone. Other health problems, the cause of your heart failure, your life style, genetics, and many other factors figure into it. Concentrate on living - not on dying. A positive outlook literally increases your chances of living longer.

Symptoms/Complaints:
Shortness of Breath
Fatigue/ tiredness
Good Days/Bad Days, the see-saw
Edema, swelling
Lightheadedness, dizziness, poor sense of balance
Memory Trouble-poor short-term memory
Strange Feelings a swollen feeling in your chest and/or stomach
dry cough
palpitations
nausea Happens in end-stage CHF
difficulty sleeping
lower leg or foot pain
feeling of physical "wrongness"

From another website:
Stages of Dying from Congestive Heart Failure:

At the outset there may be a slight feeling of fatigue with exercise.
The condition becomes worse with increased fatigue and heart palpitations with limited exercise. The fatigue is often relieved with rest.
The third stage is when the patient is comfortable only when at rest. Normal activities of daily living result in shortness of breath with accompanying fatigue. The person’s ability to function as usual is severely impaired.
The end stage, even the smallest movements are difficult, bringing on shortness of breath and tiredness. It is at this stage the patient's movements are drastically reduced as the slightest task causes a strain on the heart. The inability of the heart to function properly becomes noticeable even at rest.
The best anyone can do for a patient in the end stages of dying from congestive heart failure, is to provide love and comfort measures to ensure that the patient or loved one suffers no more than is necessary. Eventually the patient will slip into a coma and become unresponsive. At that point death is imminent and arrives in about an hour or two.

I don't know about you, but reading this all is a little... well, depressing to say the least. It's also a little intimidating to think that I am moving to help her to endure to the End. Granted, she can still live for years... I think that's what stresses me out, too, not knowing how long she has or how long I will live there. The last paragraph quoted really intimidates me... Gradually, as the symptoms and everything increase, she will need more and more of my help. (I think I will learn a lot about selflessness from this experience.) The end stages will be awful to watch... seeing her slip into a coma and ... die! Wow. I can't even imagine that. I shouldn't dwell on that though. I need to take advantage of every opportunity and try to keep her end of life comfortable. I am grateful I am in a position that I can help her like I am. I'm also grateful that I could learn a little about this so that I can help her the best and have a better idea of what future will hold.  It's just one aspect of the new adventure I'm about to begin.

With all this, I believe (but it's not a doctor saying this) that currently my grandma is probably in stage 3. She gets tired and out of breath easily when she moves around, but she is usually okay when she is just sitting and resting. She still drives herself places and goes places with her siblings or siblings-in-laws, but that usually wipes her out or increases symptoms. She doesn't sleep well. Her heart is enlarged and is palpitating. The doctor is putting her on a heart monitor for a day. She has a dry cough most of the time because of the medicine she is on (which is normal). Her feet, calves, and ankles are very swollen. Last week they found a few blood clots in her leg so they increased her medicine, but when she went to the doctor they had to change it again because her INR was too high. INR is her chances for having a blood clot. Before they up the dose her INR was too low, hence why she got blood clots. 

If it weren't for the great hiking...

 

... I would really rather keep the CA plates. But alas, I must move on and accept the fact that I am now a Utah resident and have to show it on my beautiful dream car. I want make it clear, though, I am not a Utahan. I am still a California girl and always will be. I hate the cold! But with that said, I'm not ashamed to be called a Molly Mormon. :D

The Final Countdown

Okay, I'm not really counting down unless you count me knowing that next Sunday is my last Sunday in the ward I've been in for 6 years. Yeah, that's a long time, but it was right and it has been awesome. I am grateful that yesterday at church I didn't feel as overwhelmed about the prospect of moving and leaving like I did the week before. I'm getting more excited to find out what my new adventure will entail.

I know that Heavenly Father has helped me a lot these past few weeks to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the move, and I am very grateful for that. I'm also amazed at how much I've been able to get done prior to THE WEEK that I move (which is next week). At the end of February I printed out almost 300 pictures to scrapbook and I was able to finish scrapbooking them all a week ago! That is definitely the fasted I've scrapbooked anything before. Thank goodness for good movies to watch while doing that! I watched a lot of movies....

I also got help from guys in the ward to move the garbage from the basement and then to move the furniture into my new room. My room is all set up, now it's time to bring everything over and settle in. I love my new room! It's big, has a huge desk (that was my grandpa's), two bookselves, a queen size bed, and a big closet. The only down side is that it doesn't get warmer than 65 degrees. I am trying to fix that...

So, this week I'm moving a bunch of stuff, then next week I will take everything. I will then spend two days cleaning because it will be a really crazy check out, I'm sure. I'm excited about this weekend, my last weekend here in Provo. I'm going to the Festival of Colors again and then having J-Dawgs at the ward activity. YUM. And SHHHH... don't tell, but next week I'm kidnapping my two best friends for one last little shindig before I go. I am super excited to have it be just the three of us for a little while so we can have fun and remember all the fun we've had together. I'm glad that I will still be in UT and am not leaving them completely!

So all in all, I'm feeling wonderful.

Progress and busyness

I just finished packing up my car full (well, mostly full) of stuff to take to DI tomorrow. Boy! That feels good! For the past several weeks (two nights a week) I've been going through my grandma's basement, sorting things to keep, take to DI, and throw in the trash. It's been really hard and a lot of work, but I've finished! Don't worry, I kept most everything and my grandma went through everything going to DI and to the trash, so my dad and his siblings can look through things whenever that time comes and can take claim on whatever they want. I organized the storage rooms and there is still lots of room, which is awesome!

Now, I have a very large pile of stuff to take to the trash. The Schoenfeld's offered their truck, which I am very grateful for. It will probably only take one load to take all the stuff to the dump or the dumpster at ST. Not sure ST will like that very much, though...

The next step after getting all the trash out is getting a dresser. Then I start moving stuff in!

Currently I am also trying to scrapbook everything from this past year. I want to get it done before I move out so I really can move forward emotionally. I should be able to do it, but I'm finding it hard time-wise to do it. Every night I have something it seems so that leaves Friday and Saturday nights and Sundays, but those days get filled sometimes, too. Since it's really important to me, I want to do better to make the time for it. :D

A quick thought before I end my 100th post... Recently I reread the book Leadership and Self-Deception. If you haven't read it, I recommend it highly. It reminded me how important it is to think of the people who surround me as people and not objects. I've realized this past week that I can be pretty selfish sometimes and not treat people as I should and that hurts not just others but myself, too. I'd forgotten some basic principles I promised myself I would live and it's affected so many of my relationships. Being busy and stressed is not an excuse. I hope they will forgive me and continue to be patient with me.
I'm a work in progress.