Saturday, August 8, 2009

Reality

I can't believe how fast this summer has gone by. It feels like just yesterday I was stressing out about how to take the technician calls at APX and here I am training someone on how to take those very same calls. It has been a great summer for me. At the end of last summer I decided that I needed to move on from being an EFY counselor and finally get a "big girl" job. APX isn't what I call a "big girl" job, but it was a start. I thought that not doing EFY this summer would be really difficult for me, but it turned out to be just the right thing for me. I will never regret my decision. The experiences I've had this summer have given me the opportunity to make new friends and learn more about myself in ways and places I wouldn't have if I had worked EFY. Don't get me wrong, I love EFY, but I see now why I needed to move on. I have made many great memories from this summer that I am so grateful to have.

In the next couple of weeks my roommates will return and start school again. I am incredibly excited about this because I've really missed having them around. Right now I still feel like I am just on summer break, but then reality hits and I realize that I now have to make my way in the real world. Yeah, now that I am graduated the world is open to so many possibilities... but this is hard to see when faced with reality.

I'm starting from scratch, literally. I know that I can make something of myself and accomplish many great things in my life if I work hard, trust the Lord, and do my best. I can dream big and do anything I set my mind to. Yet, here I am, in a situation where I feel like everything is out of my control and about to crash at any moment. Deep down I know everything is going to work out and things will be fine, but in the mean time it is scary and, at times, even depressing. The long and short of it is that I need a job. I was blessed throughout my college career to be completely supported by my parents, and I will be forever grateful for that. However, I want to begin being financially independent from them; I can do that if I have a job. The problem is that I don't have a job after the summer and my parents are in a situation now where they cannot help me even though they want to.

I KNOW that everything is going to be okay and it will all work out for my good. I KNOW that I will still meet my goals and do great things in my life. Starting from scratch isn't a completely negative idea. This is just a rough spot and it's a time to prove to Heavenly Father that I can endure things well. I still have so many things in my life to be happy and smile about. For one, I am surrounded by such great friends who I know love me and will help me through this difficult transition into the adult world.

So, my focus right now is applying for secretarial and preschool jobs in the Provo/Orem area. I'm still not sure what I ultimately want to do, but I am hoping these could help me get the experience I need for whatever job I do figure out I want. In reality though, at this point, any job would do.