Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Worried

Since I've come back from Nauvoo, I've started to become more and more worried about my grandma. A couple days after I left for Nauvoo, she developed shingles, which is the same virus as chicken pox, but it affects the nervous system. Big, painful sores with blisters that follow the nerves in the area that is affected. She has it on her chest and stomach. I can tell how it has weakened her. She is uncomfortable, in pain, and doesn't sleep well at night. Add onto that her already lack of energy and feeling uncomfortable with the symptoms of congested heart failure. Granted, since the pacemaker was put in, she has felt better, but since I've come back, I'm not so sure.

Now add on top of that visitors... some who stay here for over a week. It's all family, minus one who is a good friend of hers, but I can see how it's affecting her. One of the families has four kids who are... well, kids! Wild, full of energy, bored of being in the house all day, loud... etc. She said she's wanted to bonk them on their heads a few times, and I don't blame her. She is the kind that doesn't really express how she is feeling until it's boiling over or persuaded out of her. I can sense that having these extra guests at our house is taking it's toll. She loves having them here, but at the same time, she worries or stresses about being a good host, etc, and she doesn't have the energy or ability to do that anymore. In a couple days her friend is coming to stay with us, and then sometime next week her daughter and son-in-law are coming back to visit as they did in May. It means we'll have a full house! What that also means is downstairs won't be an escape anymore because they will have to sleep downstairs. Granted, I recently put a lock on my door, so I can still escape in that way.

I guess I just wanted to express that I am really concerned for my grandma's health with all the visitors coming. I talked to her about it just now and she said she's fine, but I can tell it is hard for her, by her nonverbal communication, I guess. I encouraged her to let us know when she needs a break, to speak up and let us know when she is feeling overwhelmed or tired. I really hope she will. One thing I learned was that shingles is sometimes brought on by stress and a weak immune system. She developed it after I left and I can't help but wonder if being by herself those few days stressed her out... I don't know. It's just me wondering. But continual stress/worrying probably won't help her to get better anytime soon. She may not admit it, but I know she worries a lot when people come to visit, no matter how much she loves the company. I could tell this even when I brought my friends over to visit with me downstairs.

With people coming, particularly two of her children being here, I do feel a little relieved of the work I do to try to take care of her, although, they don't know everything that needs to be done most of the time. It's good for her to have visitors and it's good to allow others to serve her like I am trying to do because I can only do so much. It gives me a little break so after they leave I can be even better at helping her the way I need to.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

THAT We Took With Us...

 “Over the years, time and the forces of nature erased
almost all of what we had built here, with so much
love and desire…But nothing could erase what Nauvoo had given us.
That we took with us.  And we taught our children, and they
taught theirs.  Which is why when you’re here…We’re here also."
Nauvoo Pageant script

 
This afternoon I was a little hesitant to go to church. The reason is because I remembered how it was when I left, and that was that it was in awful shape. With the new ward change and people who were tired of trying to make the YSA ward work here, it was very challenging for me to stay optimistic and hopeful to have a good experience in this ward. Considering I'll probably be in this ward until I'm married, it was very depressing. Before I left, I was called as the FHE coordinator. It was like pulling teeth to get people to come to activities and be excited about the ward change and anything for that matter. When I left for Nauvoo, the bishopric were a little frantic about what they were going to do without me. They kept telling me they wished they had 300 more of me. Nice compliment, but it didn't help my feelings about the ward at the time. So, I left for Nauvoo and today I went back expecting to find the same ward and people that I left. But I was wrong.
I did find the same people, but there was something different about the ward as a whole. Sacrament meeting was truly inspired. Not that it wasn't before, but it was really good. It just so happens that today is Pioneer Day in Utah, which is the day we celebrate when the early saints arrived into the Salt Lake Valley. So, of course, that is what was talked about. The first speaker talked about Nauvoo and having just been there, I thought about all my experiences there and all that I know about that beautiful city when the saints were there. Then he went on to talk about them leaving Nauvoo. He asked, "Why did they leave?" I know it was to escape persecution, but it was much more than that. Surprisingly to me, the speaker said that. He went on to talk about all the things that the saints took with them BECAUSE they left Nauvoo and how we can learn from them. He quoted a talk that I don't remember which listed some things that we can learn from the early saints leaving Nauvoo. Here they are: Faith, unselfishness, sacrifice, obedience, cooperation, inclusion, and unity. He then said things that made me immediately think of the finale of the Nauvoo Pageant and a specific quote. I'll put it again: 
“Over the years, time and the forces of nature erased
almost all of what we had built here, with so much
love and desire…But nothing could erase what Nauvoo had given us.
That we took with us.  And we taught our children, and they
taught theirs.  Which is why when you’re here…We’re here also.
Nauvoo Pageant script
 
One other thing he said that I felt was very true is that we are living what those early saints dreamed and hoped we would have as they crossed that river into the wilderness. They had it in Nauvoo and they wanted us to have it, too. And here we are! I am so grateful for their examples and that they did teach their children and their children's children all that they took from Nauvoo. 
I couldn't help but also think of this quote by Joseph Smith as the speakers mostly talked about the suffering and trials the saints had to endure to come to where we are today. 
"The Standard of Truth has been erected; No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, and calumny may defame [and I would add people may starve, freeze, and die]; but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly and independent, til it has penetrated every continent, visited every climb, swept every country and sounded in every ear, til the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the great Jehovah shall say the work is done."
These talks were a tender mercy for me today. It was just what I needed to hear upon returning to my ward from Nauvoo.  
After sacrament meeting my ward has Relief Society. My ward's Relief Society was one of my biggest pet peeves, as guess you can say. I'd experienced it at BYU and this ward was nothing like it-- it was a mess! However, from the start of today's meeting, I could feel the difference, and talking with people afterwards, they felt it, too. It's getting better--more like how I felt Relief Society ought to be when I was in Nauvoo and I said all those things about it. I am so grateful that we are on the right track and I can see this Relief Society becoming all that it can be for the sisters in my ward. Of course, I have to do my part and contribute my time and talents to it and help the other sisters catch the vision of what we can become. I shared some of my feelings with few of the sisters after church, including this quote from the pageant, which I feel is one of the best ways to describe my vision of Relief Society: "Sisters, we are going to do something extraordinary! Come!"
This last thing is something a friend of mine, who is still doing the pageant this week, wrote on facebook. He summarized beautifully the feelings I had when I was there:
I love that Zion truly can be a reality when we dedicate ourselves to the work. And what a beautiful thing it is. True consecration to the Lord brings incomparable joy.
 
I want to keep that feeling with me... I want to do my part of build Zion where I am at. I know that sounds cheesy, but if you have ever in your life experienced what Zion is like and all that requires of you to make it, then you would say the same thing.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Thoughts and Reflections-- Nauvoo Pageant Experiences


I am grateful for the opportunity I’ve had to be in the Family Cast of the Nauvoo Pageant in 2011. It was quite a different experience than last year when I did Family Support and that is because I was on stage and not backstage for the show. Being on stage was almost a sacred experience because I was truly representing those early saints who lived in Nauvoo. Each night I performed, I chose to represent one of my own ancestors who lived in Nauvoo. There were many times when I felt that I was feeling as they did as I was performing different scenes. I wasn’t really performing though. It was so much more. I believe that it is more than true the saying in the pageant, “When you’re here, we’re here.” We all felt it when we were on stage. The directors would talk about how movement was the language of our mission and how we bore our testimonies to the audience. I felt most successful when I wasn’t performing—trying to be perfect in the dance moves or positions on stage. I was most successful when I was being me- forgetting myself (my fears, weakness, inadequacy, comfort zone) and giving of my whole self to the scene. I learned that giving of myself meant to give more energy than I felt I had and to converse with others on stage as if I were really in that scene. “I will rest in God’s kingdom, but let me build it first.” It also meant to not complain about the sweat or the heat or any mistakes we made. “To give more that we had, we gave of ourselves.” The most powerful scenes happened when I really thought about what we were doing and the impact it has had on my own life and not just early saints.
            Just before going to Nauvoo, I felt impressed to read a book called, The Women of Nauvoo. It was great preparation for one of the great things I learned. I was selected to be in the organization of the Relief Society scene and as we rehearsed it, the stage manager led us in a discussion. She pointed out that there is a Relief Society music theme that is played throughout the pageant and not just in that scene. It even is in the raising of the temple scene when the RS sisters hold up the panels as the men lift it up and we all sing “Praise to the Man.” I gained a greater appreciation and love for the early women of the church who did so much to help care for their homes and families as well as make it possible for the men to go on missions and build the temple. Having that RS theme be throughout the pageant made me realize how much women really have and do influence or take part in building up the church. I have the potential to do so much good. The Relief Society was organized so that sisters could be there for each other and use our talents and sensitivities to help all those in need. “Sisters, we are going to do something extraordinary. Come!” The women are those who made the panels for the temple in the pageant and then we are the ones who get to run it up stage and hold it up and attach it together until the men pull it up. It’s amazing. I can’t really express how I feel about it only that I am grateful to be a part of it. I had the opportunity to be one of the runners who ran one of the panels up the stage to the men at the temple. Each night for a week I also had the opportunity to help take the panels down and fold them into the baskets. It was an almost sacred responsibility.
            The healing scene was my most favorite to perform because I have a strong testimony of the power of the priesthood. It has saved my life and I've received so many blessings that have guided and blessed my life. I also have a strong testimony of the power of the Atonement to heal the spirit and the body, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It’s such a simple scene, but having apostles come to my little group to check on how the sick one was doing and then to give him a blessing meant so much to me.
            The other scene that impressed me each night I performed it was the martyrdom scene. Each night I felt how much my ancestors LOVED the prophet Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum. To see him go and then to see Emma standing all alone, crushed and sickened with grief, pain, and sorrow always hit me really hard. Immediately following that scene, Brigham Young steps forward, followed by the other apostles. I could never take my eyes off of him. I’d step forward and feel the power of his words and how much faith those early saints had to have to really believe him and move forward. He talks about how the death of the prophet would not stop the church from progressing. They will finish the temple and continue to grow and prosper. I felt so much gratitude for the truth of what he said. There ARE living prophets on the earth today and it is so important for us to follow them with faith. When I bore witness of the prophet Joseph Smith and the prophets today to those I talked to before and after the pageant, I felt the power and authority of my calling to testify to them of those things.
            Another thing that impressed me this year were the families I served with in the cast. They each welcomed me and served me as if I were a part of their families, too. I watched how they interacted with one another in kindness, love, and respect and it made me want to be a better sister, daughter, and eventually wife and mother. I know these families weren’t perfect, but they were trying and that was enough. “We who were many were becoming one.”
            The last thing that I learned was that conversations are just as important as getting referrals. I felt successful when I had meaningful conversations with individuals or families and I testified to them or lifted them up in some way. I would always invite, and some would have friends or family to share the gospel with, but many didn’t, and it was okay. I kept talking to them anyway. Making those connections, bearing my testimony, and inviting them to look for something to learn from the pageant was just as important as encouraging them to share what they have with their friends or family. In fact, one of the things I enjoyed the most this year was having those meaningful conversations with other cast members. Last year I didn’t have so many opportunities to talk to and get to know the families and the core cast and so it was wonderful experiencing that this time.

I hope you have all enjoyed reading all these posts about my experience. I hope that each of you will make it a goal to experience the pageant for yourself by going to watch it or participate in it if you feel you should. All my pictures are in my gallery and some of the best ones are on facebook. Enjoy!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Home at Last

By the end of my train ride, I was kind of wishing that I could have just apparated home, or at least said, "Accio Broom" and flown home. I got home 7 1/2 hours late. The main reason is because there is lots of freight traffic on the rails and they get first priority. They also had lightening strike a sensor that required precaution until they knew that is what happened. A part of the rail was misaligned, so they stopped us so they could fix that, too. It wasn't terrible, but because it is incredibly hard to sleep on the train without a nice pillow and blanket, it felt really long. I just needed to be more prepared with stuff to do on the way home especially. Overall, I'm just glad to be home.

Right now the thing on my mind the most right now is all those who are still doing the pageant. I know they still need my prayers and the prayers of others as they rehearse and perform these next two weeks. The heat and humidity are bad, but tiredness from long days on top of it make it worse. I know the Lord sustained me while I was there, but they can use all the help they can get. There are still many people who need to hear the message and testimony of the pageant and it's cast members.

Now my parents and little sister are here visiting as my sister has volleyball camp at BYU. I'm excited to spend time with them and especially excited to watch the last Harry Potter movie with them!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Farewell Nauvoo

Goodbyes are always hard, but it's softened with the feeling that I will be back again sometime in the future. The last performance went well and just like I thought it would, really fast. I loved every minute of it. In the evening dance I got so excited that I raised my arm to do the highland fling too early, but I smiled and kept it raised until everyone else did it, too. I laughed about it because I knew what the director would say... I was going with how I was feeling and I was feeling really excited to do that part! He would have said it was still perfect. The best part about that is I got it on video to remember forever. I had a few good conversations and I got four referrals that night. I also finally thought of people I could refer, so I gave five referrals myself, for a total of nine.

After the performance and some missionary work, we all gathered to the stage for closing remarks and cast prayer. I will really miss the families and individuals I met this year. They were all amazing. I will post my remaining pictures soon on my gallery and facebook for all to enjoy.

Overall, I feel like I accomplished what I was sent to accomplish going to Nauvoo this time. I helped the people in the cast that needed me even though most of the time I didn't know I was helping them like I was. I feel like they were helping me more than anything!

I left Nauvoo after church and a couple last hours with the House family. I loved every minute of it. I then went with the Rose family to Burlington, IA for the train. It came 3 hours late and we've lost another 3 hours. I'm not really worried about it though because I don't have anything to go to that is time dependent like there was when I was going to Nauvoo. Hopefully my parents won't complain too much about picking me up at the train station in the wee hours of the morning on Tuesday. :D

Good news is that I surprisingly got some sleep on the train. Not much, but enough that I'm not as tired as I was yesterday.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Saturday Already?

It's really hard to believe that it's already Saturday and tonight is my last performance. I feel like I could do this for the rest of the pageant if they'd let me. Alas, others have come to enjoy this opportunity and I want them to have it. I love my fellow cast members and core-cast. They have been such a great help and support for me. I have really felt so loved and watched over by Heavenly Father because of their great examples and influence. This experience has been so different than I expected, that it is hard to describe how I feel about it all. At the beginning I was asked what I wanted to accomplish and I said what I said last year and that was to be a missionary. My mission was a little different this time and it's hard to explain how except to have you read all my prior posts. I feel that I've learned what I've come here to learn and have been the kind of missionary I needed to be. Before I came here I felt that I was coming here for another cast member not necessarily a pageant visitor. I feel I probably won't know exactly all who I've influenced in the cast, but I must know that I have and that is enough. Maybe someday I will know who I helped and how. I hope so.

Last night we had a large youth conference group of Liberty, Missouri. It just so happens that one of my best friend Savannah's little brother Cameron was in that group so I talked to him before and after the pageant. He really impressed me when he said that his favorite parts were the beginning and the end. The end I understand, but the beginning? When I asked him why he said because it was so overwhelming. He said he was overwhelmed by the welcome that we gave to the audience. It was full of love and the Spirit. THAT is exactly the purpose of the beginning of the pageant, so it was a compliment to know that we achieved that purpose that night. We want the audience to feel welcome and feel how much we love them and are glad that they have come to hear "our" story.

I felt like the performance last night went very well, but WAY TOO FAST. I mean, it went by too fast. I was totally losing myself in doing it that before I knew it, it was over. I'm afraid that it will happen again tonight, but I will be glad, because that is how it should be. I will REJOICE my way through tonight's performance because I know that is what the early saints would want me to do. I'll be back to do it again.

Before the pageant I talked to one nonmember very briefly. The cross on her neck was a dead giveaway. I mostly talked to the youth in the youth conference and some of their leaders. I got a total of four referrals last night. After the pageant I talked with Cameron and some of his friends and then I talked to a guy about my age with his friend who is a recent convert to the church. I really enjoyed my conversation with them because it felt like I was summarizing some of my own thoughts and feelings about being in Nauvoo and experiencing the pageant. I realized last night that there are six things I've tended to bear testimony of with almost everyone I talked to before and after the pageant:
1. Joseph Smith being a prophet and how much the early saints loved him and I love him
2. That we have prophets on the earth today and just like the early saints immediately after Joseph's death, we can take that step of faith to listen to and follow and trust the prophet of the Lord who we have been blessed to have on the earth today.
3. The temple and Priesthood- the blessings it gave the saints as they left Nauvoo and the blessings I've received in my own life as I keep my covenants and live worthily.
4. Importance of Women and the Relief Society- their involvement in building the temple and Nauvoo and the great sacrifices and challenges they made to support their husbands and families. They created and had the support of the Relief Society that today still supports and helps me and everyone who is in need.
5. Families and unity- The pageant is centered around families and our desire to love and care for each other. Through out the pageant, families go first and that is how it should be where ever we are.
6. To non-members: Jesus Christ- He is the center of our faith. Everything we do on stage and off is us trying our very best to be like Him. We desire to become like him in our service and love for others.

When we are on stage, we are not just performing. I've probably said that a lot in the blog already, but I don't think anyone can really understand it until they've seen the pageant or the other show called "Our Story Goes On." The second show is a performance done only by the core-cast once a week and sometimes also for the family casts. I saw it when it was performed in Nauvoo and Keokuk, but yesterday it was performed for the Blue and Yellow cast families. I am so grateful that I went because it was incredible. It's hard to describe what happened in that performance except to say that the cast and the audience connected in a very personal way that was so powerful. That room was so full of love and it seemed like every song the cast sang told a piece of every audience member's "story," including mine. There is one song that is called "Proud of Your Boy" that really hit me this time, more than it usually does. Earlier this week at the end of a phone call with my mom, she said she was proud of me. It really hit me as I listened to my friend perform it with such emotion I've never seen before that I really wanted my Mom to be proud of me and I was so grateful to have her as my mother. The rest of the show was so powerful that trying to describe it doesn't do it justice. You had to be there.

To me, this is exactly why what I've been doing here is not just performing. There is SO MUCH MORE to being in the pageant than performing for an audience. We give our hearts and ourselves. We also feel the influence of those who we are representing on stage, more than anyone can really know. It truly is a sacred experience.

Last night I represented my ancestor Martha Brown Sanders and tonight I will represent Pheobe Wooster Child Richardson.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Two More Nights!

It's hard to believe that I'm going home on Sunday. I'm trying not to think about it, but it's good that I am. I have learned many great things that will guide me in my future service in the pageant and in the church. I know I didn't write yesterday and that is because I needed a nap badly. The performance the night before was good. I felt only okay about it, but all the comments said that it was better than the night before. I didn't get any referrals that night but I talked to some interesting people.

Last night though... I felt like the show went amazingly. I forgot myself and gave of myself all that I could and it felt great. I know that last sentence probably doesn't make much sense, but it's the best way to describe what has to happen so that I perform and be what I need to be in order to really get the message across to the audience and fellow cast members. Forgetting myself is forgetting my worries and weaknesses and other stuff that comes with performing or relating to other people. Giving of myself is doing my very best and a little more to really put myself and all my talents, etc, into everything I'm doing, remembering that I don't have to be perfect. The show goes by so fast, especially when I feel like it's going well. I'm always more excited than nervous to go on stage and when it's all done, I always wish I could do something more.

Last night was Nauvoo Appreciation Night, so earlier in the day, the director and the president of the pageant both spoke on a radio station about the pageant and invited people to come. I spoke to a grandmother and her family who live in Quincy that heard that show and came. They are nonmembers. The grandma had been trying to look us up recently and had been waiting to hear something about us and then that morning she was listening to the radio and decided to come. I told her the church's real name and talked to her about the pageant and invited her to have a CD of the pageant. She didn't want it right then, but I could tell that she was interested in learning more about the church at her own pace. I brought over the newspaper that summarizes some of the things we believe that are taught in the pageant and her eyes got really big and excited. She and her family are Catholic and it just so happened that a Catholic priest gave the opening prayer that night. Kind of cool. I hope that she WILL "look us up" like she said she would, but who knows. I talked to another nonmember family from Keokuk. They weren't as open and also didn't want the CD, but it was nice to talk to them.

Time to go to the cast talent show!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Blue Cast Opening Night

Last night went pretty well, although I was really not feeling great about my performance for most of the night. I realized I was trying way too hard and forgetting to just BE and have JOY because that is how the message is sent. It took me realizing that I'd forgotten that to make the last part of the pageant just as great as I felt at the rehearsal night, if not better. I had an amazing moment on stage during the scene after the martyrdom when Brigham Young steps up and talks to us about building the temple and that the work will continue. I truly felt that we were representing the FAITHFUL saints who, even after all the drama of losing their beloved the prophet Joseph, chose to follow him. It was amazing and can't really be described. Last night I represented my ancestor named Abigail Starbuck, which made that moment even more powerful to me because I remember that her husband died when they were only in Council Bluffs, IA. Tonight I will represent Annie Colpetzer, who also lived in Nauvoo.

This morning I went to Yellow cast rehearsal as a mentor to help them block some of the scenes. It was fun to be back and I realized how much I have learned in only a week. I also realized the importance of learning on our own, little by little. There is so much freedom of how to do things in this pageant. Not that it changes drastically every week, but each family adds a personal touch to scenes that no one can tell them how to act or do something without ruining what we are trying to portray in this pageant.

While I was doing that Sis. Davis brought me lunch! She is incredible. The Lord really is watching over me. She also took me to Ft. Madison train station this afternoon so that I could get my train ticket changed from leaving Ft. Madison to go home to leaving Burlington, IA. The family I met on the train is leaving from there, so they offered to take me with them, which means a lot less time on the train or in the station and more time in Nauvoo!

This afternoon I got a much needed 1 1/2 hour nap. That's a rarity in this city, it seems. It felt good. I then had time to check out some stores and places I've never been to before, such as Norbert's pineapple whip stand. It was very good and only 2 dollars. I also went to the antique store. That place is interesting! I talked to the owner and she said that from the time she was little she loved collecting antique things and eventually she got so much stuff she started up the store to sell it and to share her passion. In there I found a old picture of Nauvoo from above where you can see the Joseph Smith Academy. I just happen to be wearing that shirt today, so it was kind of cool. It got turn down years ago, so it really is an antique picture.

I'm excited to perform tonight. It's the coolest afternoon we've had all week. I'd be outside right now if it weren't that fact that I have to be within feet of the router at the hotel to get any internet. It so happens to be near the diner... hence the need for that creepy night the other day.

Last night I met a girl from Scotland, which was pretty cool because there is a Scottish theme in the pageant. I got one referral from her, but I didn't get any others last night. I had some good conversations after the pageant with some people though.

Monday, July 11, 2011

To Give More...

"To give more than we had, we gave of ourselves.... As we gave of ourselves, we found that there is so much to give." Nauvoo Pageant Script

This in a small way expresses how I felt after the dress rehearsal tonight. Wow. I've never sweat so much in my life and never has sweating like that ever felt SO GOOD. Maybe because it was consecrated sweat... Really, I believe every one of us on stage tonight gave it our all and I hardly heard any complains about the sweat. Yeah, the other ladies and I commented on how we were lifting our dresses and moving them around to fan ourselves a little, but other than that, I only heard a couple people on stage say anything about it... we were so involved in portraying those who lived here. For those of you who have never been to Nauvoo or haven't seen the pageant, that may sound a bit cheesy, but it's not. They really are here and we feel them as we perform. I almost completely lost myself on stage tonight and it felt so good. Tonight I wanted to represent my ancestor Susannah Houston who was married to Benjamin Trotter Mitchell, who carved the first sunstone of the Navuoo temple.

Despite the little mishaps that happened, I feel great about the performance. The only thing I feel is that I can give MORE. The core-cast are such great examples of really trying to lose themselves on stage, so much that as we have small conversations, we are talking as if we were really those people in that scene, even though no one in the audience can hear us. It really makes a huge difference.

As I am thinking about tonight's performance, I have a hard time remembering things because I just feel like it wasn't me up there at all. The moments I remember are the moments I returned back to myself and was thinking too much about where I should be or what I should be doing instead of just BEING. I have never been a performer, but being on this stage feels like home. I wasn't even nervous to go on... I was excited. I really felt like I was bearing my testimony as I spoke the "language" of my mission.

Afterwards we had only a little bit of time to talk to people and I ended up talking to a family from Yellow cast who will be rehearsing this week. I surprised myself and some of the things I told them. Funny how one week here makes me an "expert" and really want to share some tips to help them make this experience the best it can be.

I want to give more and more and more... not just this week, but for years to come.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Day of Rest

I'm sitting in Hotel Nauvoo now in the dark dining area with elevator music going on. Not going to lie, it was a bit creepy for the first 7 minutes being here because not a soul was down here. Very creepy. Now there is a man at the front desk working. So, I had to change places where I am staying because my cousin and Aunt who I was staying with were with the Red Cast so they left today. I'm sad about that only because it means I won't be in the condos anymore. I really liked them. I loved being in the same place my district family was staying and also where all the core cast are staying. It really helped me to get to know them all better this past week. This afternoon when I was dropped off after church to check in here and I went to my room, I suddenly felt so lonely and a little depressed. I had no plans for today, it was super hot and humid outside and I didn't know where to find any other cast members around to do something with and chances are I couldn't get a hold of them even if I could because the cell reception is lousy (except for verizon).

Fortunately, I did get Conner's number and when the reception let him get my text, I was able to get a hold of Br. House to meet up with him. That was also important because I forgot my food in their car and I was starving! I am grateful I could spend the afternoon/evening with them. We drove around Nauvoo flats and walked a little too. We then went to the school for dinner and then headed for Keokuk, Iowa for the core cast's performance of Our Story Goes On. I've seen it before, but I absolutely love it! They do such a great job and the message of the show is so touching. I love watching the core-cast, on and off stage. They are each amazing individuals with such great talents on stage but also in communicating with others in such a way that makes you feel good about yourself and excited for the gospel. I want to be like them when I grow up. :D

Last night's performance when well. I got two referrals and talked to people, but it wasn't my best night. I'm super excited for tomorrow! We will rehearse the whole thing in the morning and do a dress rehearsal tomorrow night and then that's it! We are not the experts and the Yellow Cast is watching us to know what to do next week. Crazy. This pageant is really a miracle how it all is put together. It's amazing and I love it!

I just posted pictures from this week: gallery.me.com/shell_belle

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Rehearsal Full Run Through!

This morning we finally ran the whole show without stopping. It was nice to do that since we've only rehearsed scenes and haven't worked on transitions or order. It went very well. I know the dances and where I'm supposed to be on stage and when. I'm really loving this! On Monday we have a full run through and then dress rehearsal and then that's it! It's crazy, but I know that we will do great. It's amazing how we can only rehearse for one week and pull together an hour and a half show that affects the heart of those who watch it to such a great degree. The Lord is truly blessing us. Another way He's blessing us is that it hasn't rained. We've had clear skies, even when the forecast said a full week of thunderstorms. I hope and pray that it will continue next week when we perform!!!

The Red cast (performing this week) are all really sad because tonight is their last performance and tomorrow they leave. I know I will be the same way next week, although, I already have a feeling that I'll be back in some way next year. I don't think I can ever stay away from Nauvoo for very long. I will post pictures I've taken this week tomorrow on my MobileMe.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Moving with JOY

Rehearsals are going well. We've learned all the scenes and not it's time to practice, practice, practice. This morning we worked on the opening scene and "moving with JOY." In one of our meetings we were taught that since we have a unique mission here, our mission language is unique, too. Our mission language is MOVEMENT. That may sound strange unless you've seen the pageant. The stage is huge with a large slant. In order for the audience to really see what we're doing and trying to express, all of our movements need to be big, purposeful, and enthusiastic. We practiced by watching each other and it was interesting to see how hard it is. We really are all learning a new language. I am loving it though! Over exaggerating everything and interacting with others while moving my whole body making angles and different levels is hard, and on top of that smiling and singing, is tough, but I know that it really does communicate so much to the audience. One of the stage managers quoted a line from Preach My Gospel that basically says when you stretch yourself in learning a new language, you allow the spirit to have a greater chance to touch the hearts of those who are listening (with their eyes). That is not exact, but it really hit me that my movement on stage is a language and moving with joy can bring the spirit to testify to those who are watching. It's exhausting, but very fulfilling to rehearse and perform. I am so grateful for this opportunity.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Relief Society

I have about 30 minutes before tonight's missionary meeting and then the 3rd night of fun begins! This morning's rehearsal was intense. We blocked (practiced) the last 20 minutes of the pageant, which consists of 4 or 5 scenes. They happen pretty quickly, enough that when we rehearsed them, we went through all of them. One of the first scenes we blocked was the organization of the Relief Society. Most of you probably know that the Relief Society was organized in Nauvoo after the women wanted to do something to help the men who were working so hard to build the temple and they could see that they needed help. Joseph Smith took their idea and expanded it, "turn[ing] the key on behalf of women." I was selected to be a part of that scene, which made me very excited. After practicing it, all of us in the scene and one of the stage managers sat down to discuss what Relief Society means to us. It was a great discussion. I love Relief Socity and the sisterhood, friendship, and support it provides for me. Visiting teaching and other activities help us to become the women God wants us to be--with the skills, talents, etc that we need to accomplish our work on the earth.

The manager then told us that in the pageant music, there is a Relief Society theme that is repeated throughout the score. It starts in the welcoming scene with the "whistling boys" whistling the tune. She pointed out that it is also the "Praise to the Man" piece. I never noticed it before, but the relief society theme is played slowly by trumpets while we are singing Praise to the Man. This may not seem very significant, but it is. When we are singing praise to the man, all the Relief Society sisters form lines in the center of the stage and hold their arms out as the panels that make up the temple are ran up to the top of the stage where the men connect it and pull it up. I was chosen to be one of the 5 runners!!! I have the opportunity to be the one who holds the panel like a cape and run up stage and then hurry to put all the clips together between the panels and double check to make sure everything is in place before it goes up. We put the temple up in under 2 minutes, so everything happens very quickly.

I feel it a privilege to be a part of that scene and play such an important role in it because I feel like I am really like the one of the women who once lived here in Nauvoo. Although history books don't say much about the women who lived in Nauvoo, they did so much to make it so the men could go on missions and do what was needed to build up the church. The women were the backbone to the temple even being built, in a way, because they were willing to sacrifice their processions so that there would be money and the very best things provided for the temple. They took care of the men (sewing shirts, providing food, etc) so that they could build the temple. So, to have the women being the ones holding up the panels and getting it ready like that as the men pull it up, is a very powerful way to honor those women. I wish I could put what I am thinking and feeling about it into words better. I just love that the Relief Society theme runs throughout the pageant. To me it is a way of appreciating all those women and how much they really did (and do) contribute to the church.  Some people think that the LDS church doesn't treat women as equals or allow them all the opportunities that men have, but, to me, this is evidence that that is NOT the case at all. They just don't understand that women have been given special gifts and sensitivities and other abilities that we use in other ways to build up the kingdom of God. The women of Nauvoo were not just caring for their kids. They worked hard building houses themselves and taking care of everything from planting food in the gardens to serving or entertaining others outside of their families. I really admire those women and I am very grateful I can portray them on stage.

PS Keep praying that it won't rain on us when we perform at night! So far the weather has been great! It was super hot yesterday, but gatorade has become my best friend, so I hope not to get dehydrated like last night. Today was A LOT cooler, so I should be fine. Plus, I got 7 1/2 hours of sleep, which is pretty amazing when you consider how long my days are! Normally I only get about 6!

Conversations & Referrals

I have to keep this brief because I only have 15 minutes until my next rehearsal, which I am afraid with all that I want to so will not do these things justice.

Last night was another great night. I only got one referral, but I realized, even more so after talking to other people about my thoughts, that quality conversation is just as important as getting referrals. Connecting to the pageant visitors as people is a very important part of missionary work. After talking to a member of core cast about it, he suggested that I can have quality conversations that involve us working together to help them think of people they could refer. A large part of that is being enthusiastic about the gospel and whatever efforts they make to share it with their friends and family without being overbearing. I am going to try his ideas tonight and see how it goes.

Last night I had another amazing experience talking to people at rag tying. This time it was toward the beginning of the fair when I saw two a little bit older ladies sitting on the benches we have at our station. They didn't want to participate, so I just started talking to them. Eventually it came out that they were both not members. I don't remember everything I said, but I felt prompted to ask them if they had any questions. Immediately, one of the women asked me, "Who do you believe Jesus Christ is? Is is just a prophet?" Wow. Fortunately, I didn't take too long to digest such a great question. I immediately began telling her who Jesus Christ is to me: my Savior and Redeemer, that without Him, I couldn't live with God again.... etc. I said things clearer than I thought I would under such circumstance. I talked about the atonement, life after death, and repentance. The whole time I felt that they were genuinely listening. As I talked with them, I showed them the pageant newspaper that has a section that briefly describes some of the gospel doctrines and principles that are talked about in the pageant. I gave them the free picture of Christ, which they accepted, and then told them about the pageant CD they could have. They probably would have referred themselves had I not told them, as I am supposed to do, that missionaries would bring the CD by. I told them that it is like me coming to their house and giving it to them, which lessened the hardness they they had, but it wasn't enough for them to fill out the card. However, as we continued to talk, I gave them the card and said that as they watch the pageant and listen to the music, they can decide if they want the soundtrack and then give it to a cast member. I hope that they did, but I won't ever know.

I had another good conversation with a girl about my age where when her family came up to her she said I was her new friend. We all talked for a while and it was very good... but once again, no referrals. I am hoping that with things that my core cast friend told me, I might be able to have conversations like that and be better at encouraging them for referrals.

This morning I had an amazing rehearsal where we basically blocked out the entire last twenty minutes of the pageant. It was incredible. I hope my next post will be soon because I learned so many things, especially about the women of Nauvoo and their importance in building the temple.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Opening Night

Yesterday was our first full day of rehearsing and opening night of the pageant. We rehearsed at the school and learned one whole dance and half of another. It was a lot of fun, especially since we were indoors and not in the humidity! The days are really long, so it's often hard for me to remember everything that we do!

In the morning we were taught how to do our stations at the Frontier Country Fair that happens for the hour and a half before the pageant begins. I'm at the rag tying station where we make a carpet out of rags. It's pretty easy, but it takes some time to get the carpet started. We have set up a bunch of benches that that people can come up and we can sit down to teach them how to do it. It is a great way to have extended conversations with people. I only work the station this week and next week I will be going around talking to people at this time.

One thing that I am loving about being in family cast is that I have so many opportunities to talk to other people in the cast--particularly the adults and the core cast. Yesterday at lunch I sat and talked to another cast member (Sis. Clark) for over an hour about lots of different things. We have a little down time after lunch and before afternoon rehearsal so that's why I can do this and how come I could talk to her for so long.

Yesterday afternoon we learned more stuff. I honestly don't remember... it's too long ago already! But by the time we were done it was dinner time and we weren't very hungry, but we ate anyway because we'd not be able to eat again later. I got dressed in my "light" costume and then headed to the missionary meeting. I have a light and a dark costume because we start out in dark and gradually the whole cast changes to wearing all light costumes to make a really cool effect on stage. This week I am in the finale scene, so we all wear the light costumes.

Last night I got a total of 5 referrals. I got one referral the other day before the rehearsal, so I have a total of 6 referrals. I've realized though that as much as we want referrals, the most important and most effective work I do is me talking to people in meaningful conversations. I love the rag tying activity I'm doing because it give me just that opportunity. Last night I talked to a girl named Tanah who is only 13 years old. She and her mom came not knowing that the pageant was even going on. They have gone around to different church history sites, ending here. She and I talked for over an hour as I taught her how to make the rag rug. I ended up getting two referrals from her, but that wasn't what made the interaction meaningful. I answered her questions and helped her with some things that she's trying to do to help her beehive girls that she is over. I challenged her to watch the pageant through her non-member/less-active friends eyes. After the pageant was over, she told me the impressions she had and what she thinks she needs to do. It was a really sweet experience.

After the pageant ended, I went out with my "companion" Carsten to talk to people. We got 2 referrals and had some good conversations.

This morning we got up early and started rehearsing the first scenes of the pageant. It goes really fast, but we were all able to keep up. The director and stage managers are really good teachers and know our limitations. The major limitation definitely is the heat and humidity. We all are chugging down water trying to prevent getting dehydrated. I drank 2 water bottles in an hour and I still could feel the effects of it a little. I'm in the opening welcome scene. I am one of the "established saints" that welcomes in the converts from England. It just so happens that my "husband" or dance partner in a later scene is one of the ones arriving, so I joked about that this morning with the people around me. I am then in the healing scene. That is one of my most favorite scenes. I'm with my district, which is divided between two blankets. I'm a mom in that one. We are one of the last ones to have the apostles come around to heal.

I forgot to mention that yesterday when we practiced the dance scene, they chose who was going to be Mary Fielding Smith... and it wasn't me. At first I was a bit disappointed, but then I remembered what another cast member said on Monday about how each of us is representing someone who lived in Nauvoo even if we don't know what their names are. I decided that I will represent my ancestors. I have many ancestors that lived in Nauvoo and I have their names. So, each night I will pick one of them to represent. Last night I was Pheobe Wooster Child, wife of Ebenezer Clawson Richardson, who did a lot here when he was here. Tonight I will be Lowly Foote, wife of Josiah Richardson. I will most likely repeat names because I can. :D

Now I'm going to music rehearsal! I already know all the songs, so it will be pretty easy. It will be indoors, which is awesome. Then it's dinner and the pageant!!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Picture Perfect

Guess what? I can now post from the condo I'm staying at, so there will be more frequent posts on here. First of all, I'm sure you've all been dying to see pictures, so click on the link below to see all the pictures I've taken. Check back every so often to see more as I post them.

gallery.me.com/shell_belle

In the next half an hour I'll be going to meet with my district. This afternoon we had a little free time so I actually already met the family that is in my district. It is the House family. There are three boys and one girl and they are all pretty cool. All the kids' names start with "C"-Christian, Conner, Cresten (or something like that), and Callie. I talked with Sis. House, Sis. Rose and another woman from Canada for a while before and during dinner while the older teenagers and men learned how to put up and down the buildings and the temple on stage. I really enjoyed it. At the district meeting tonight I will learn what parts I'm playing on stage, so I'm excited about that. After that the Red Cast will do a dress rehearsal and we will go on for the finale, although not dressed in costume. Some people come to watch the pageant tonight, so I'm excited to start talking to people.

I learned today that the reason why we have bagpipers on the pageant grounds is because it contributes to the Scottish theme of the pageant. There is a story in the pageant about a Scottish immigrant who learns about the church and eventually joins it. The bagpipes are to help draw things together and prepare people for that part of the pageant. Interesting.

Success!

Some of you who are not facebook friends with me may be wondering why I haven't posted anything on here since I arrived in Nauvoo. It turns out that the condos where I am staying is having problems with their server blocking random sites... my blog included. Google is also blocked. Anyway, so I've been posting updates in facebook in my notes. I haven't posted pictures yet, but I may do that tonight.

Today is the first day meeting everyone in the Blue Cast. Blue cast is everyone that will be here for the next two weeks. The first week is full of rehearsing and working the preshow fair and then second week we will perform. The opening night of pageant is tomorrow night! I'm very excited. Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to Carthage with the Rose family. I posted my feelings about it on facebook, so check it out there.

Something else I was thinking a lot about yesterday is my being set a part as a special representative of the church for the duration of the pageant. When I was set a part, the bishop specifically said he gave me the authority that comes with my calling. In Preach My Gospel chapter one there is a section that talks about the power and authority given to missionaries and how that is a great part of my success. I am grateful for that blessing and I've already felt it's power since I've been here.

Today we just had our getting to know you activities as a cast. We played team building games and learned a dance and it was a lot of fun. We got the basic introduction to what we will be doing, although we will be doing more of that later this afternoon. Because I did it last year, it's all a review to me, so that's nice.

The best part of this morning was getting my costume!! I am in the Hyrum Smith district and my color is blue. I will meet the rest of my district later this afternoon. My dress is all one piece, which isn't common because usually it's two pieces attached at the waist with velcro. I have two dresses, a dark and light, to wear and change in the middle of the pageant. I also got a bonnet and a shawl to wear. I don't know what parts I will be in yet. I will learn that later today. Tonight we will have a rehearsal then tomorrow is the big day!

I'm staying in the Nauvoo Condos this week and next week I will be in Hotel Nauvoo.I'm staying with my cousin and great aunt who are in the Red Cast doing family support, which is what I did last year.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Still in Colorado...


So, I’m on a slow moving train to… Galesburg, IL. I’ve been through more than 43 tunnels, and we are not even to Denver yet. Not going to lie, 12 hours on a train is a VERY LONG TIME and the best (or worst) part is that I’m probably less than half way there.

This is my first train ride and I actually really am enjoying it. It’s different than any other kind of travel I’ve done. The only down side right now is how long it is and how I find myself getting tired and just falling asleep just because I have nothing else to do.  I already know a few things I would do differently if I ever do this trip again (like bring a blanket and a pillow and REAL food to eat, not just trail mix and stuff like that).

There are many things that I really like about the train:
  • Large windows to look out at the scenery (which is beautiful)—even a train car called the “observation car” where you can sit looking directly out the window or at a table to play cards, etc and enjoy the views. Only downside to that car is it gets really hot in the sun. The windows have curtains in the normal cars to block the sun when needed.
  • Gigantic amount of leg room
  • Seats large enough that you don’t feel like the person next to you is sitting (or sleeping) on you.
  • Seats recline pretty far back and have two different kinds of leg rests.
  • Each row of seats have two plugs to plug in computers, phones, or whatever
  • You can walk around the train while it’s going (which is trippy) and go from car to car. I’m in the last car, so I’m three cars from the observation car and four cars from the dining car.
  • People on the train are nice and interesting… in a good way, not a creepy way.

I’ve been through the longest tunnel—6 miles long. It takes about 12 minutes to get through so they don’t let people pass between cars so as to not let the carbon from the freight trains into our train.

I only got 3 hours of sleep last night, but I managed to get a little bit of sleep, so I feel alright right now. My train was supposed to leave at 4:35 AM, but it was delayed because of snow in the mountains, so the train didn’t come until about 45 minutes later. My friend Laura didn’t stay at the station to wait with me, but it was just fine because there were some nice people there, including a guy who is going to be a part of the Nauvoo Pageant in Blue Cast just like me!  I enjoyed talking to everyone. I even gave one of the Nauvoo Pageant pamphlets to a woman who said she will go next summer.

Most of the scenery has been of the Colorado River. Because of the snowmelt, the river is flooding really bad. This train, in fact, didn’t run yesterday because of the flooding. The rail is right next to the river in many parts. I’m hoping that my train will run tomorrow since I’ve heard many trains that go through Iowa have not been running because of flooding. So, we will see.
Whenever we were by the river, people who were river rafting and canoeing would wave at us… or moon us. I guess that is a tradition of sorts. I fortunately only saw it happen once.

There are a few scheduled longer stops where we are allowed to get off the train to stretch and get some fresh air. On the first stop like this, I met the guy’s (whose name is Jeff) parents. They are the Roses. They have a portable wireless internet device, which is what is allowing me to make this update while on the train. Yipee! I’m getting off before they are because I am going to Ft. Madison and they are going to Burlington, IA. If they don’t have any problems, they will get there way before me because they are getting a rental car and won’t have the lay-over that I do. Oh well. Next time, whenever that is, I will plan my train trip a little differently. :D

Word to the wise—when you go on a train trip that you know will be long, bring something to do… Fortunately I brought a couple of books, but even those don’t last because I get sleepy reading them. Some people brought games like Uno to play or are playing games on their computers. Also, unless you want to pay 6.75 for a half of a 5 dollar Subway sandwhich or the like, don't buy the food on the train. Just saying..

Alright! We made it to Denver for a 30 minute break, but we have to wait for them to "park" the train in the station before we can get off. And then on the road… I mean, rails, again!

Below are a couple pictures I took on my phone. I have really cool pictures, but they are on my camera and will have to wait until later to be posted!
The Observation car

Train at Grand Junction, CO