Worried

Since I've come back from Nauvoo, I've started to become more and more worried about my grandma. A couple days after I left for Nauvoo, she developed shingles, which is the same virus as chicken pox, but it affects the nervous system. Big, painful sores with blisters that follow the nerves in the area that is affected. She has it on her chest and stomach. I can tell how it has weakened her. She is uncomfortable, in pain, and doesn't sleep well at night. Add onto that her already lack of energy and feeling uncomfortable with the symptoms of congested heart failure. Granted, since the pacemaker was put in, she has felt better, but since I've come back, I'm not so sure.

Now add on top of that visitors... some who stay here for over a week. It's all family, minus one who is a good friend of hers, but I can see how it's affecting her. One of the families has four kids who are... well, kids! Wild, full of energy, bored of being in the house all day, loud... etc. She said she's wanted to bonk them on their heads a few times, and I don't blame her. She is the kind that doesn't really express how she is feeling until it's boiling over or persuaded out of her. I can sense that having these extra guests at our house is taking it's toll. She loves having them here, but at the same time, she worries or stresses about being a good host, etc, and she doesn't have the energy or ability to do that anymore. In a couple days her friend is coming to stay with us, and then sometime next week her daughter and son-in-law are coming back to visit as they did in May. It means we'll have a full house! What that also means is downstairs won't be an escape anymore because they will have to sleep downstairs. Granted, I recently put a lock on my door, so I can still escape in that way.

I guess I just wanted to express that I am really concerned for my grandma's health with all the visitors coming. I talked to her about it just now and she said she's fine, but I can tell it is hard for her, by her nonverbal communication, I guess. I encouraged her to let us know when she needs a break, to speak up and let us know when she is feeling overwhelmed or tired. I really hope she will. One thing I learned was that shingles is sometimes brought on by stress and a weak immune system. She developed it after I left and I can't help but wonder if being by herself those few days stressed her out... I don't know. It's just me wondering. But continual stress/worrying probably won't help her to get better anytime soon. She may not admit it, but I know she worries a lot when people come to visit, no matter how much she loves the company. I could tell this even when I brought my friends over to visit with me downstairs.

With people coming, particularly two of her children being here, I do feel a little relieved of the work I do to try to take care of her, although, they don't know everything that needs to be done most of the time. It's good for her to have visitors and it's good to allow others to serve her like I am trying to do because I can only do so much. It gives me a little break so after they leave I can be even better at helping her the way I need to.