How did this happen?

There are three ways to "graduate" from the young single adult ward:
1. Get married
2. Turn 31
3. Die

Well, I'm no longer dating anyone, so getting married is out of the question. I'm pretty healthy, so unless something tragic happens, I'm not going to die anytime soon. So, I'm turning 31. It's not for a couple of months, but it's been on my mind a lot the last few weeks. Never in my worst nightmares did I ever think that I would be turning 31 and not be married. I now have to decide if I will go to the mid-singles ward or to the family ward.

In my mind, the mid-singles ward has a bunch of weirdos or "left-overs" who weren't good enough quality to get married. I know that isn't true because now I'm going to be one of them! Salt Lake has a huge mid-singles ward that actually should be two wards because it's so big. I'm terrified to go to it. I'm afraid of the creepers and of the divorced guys with kids. I feel like there's a stigma about going to the mid-singles ward that I don't want to have applied to me. I think in reality the stigma isn't there anymore because of how many mid-singles there are now, but it's still not easy for me.

I've also thought a lot about going to the family ward. That scares me, too. I have several friends that go to a family ward, but come to the YSA activities still, so I could do that, too. Part of me thinks it would be nice to get involved in a family ward, but then I would have to be proactive to meet people outside of the ward because more than likely, I would be one of the few singles there.

Then there is the option to stay in the YSA ward until... whenever. The bishop has told a bunch of us that are turning 31 this year that we can stay as long as we want. I know of a couple people who have chosen to stay because they don't feel like the belong to the mid-singles group or the family ward.

I have a couple months before I turn 31, but I decided that I'll have courage and check out the mid-singles ward today. A few friends said we could all check it out together, but I'm going to go alone so I can really try to get a feel for it. I know that going once won't really tell me what I want to know, but at least I'd know a little more to make my decision slightly easier.

Recently I tried a couple of new dating apps. I've not really got anything from them! It makes me wonder if the Lord is telling me that I need to give myself more time to heal from my breakup before I try online dating again. Part of me really wants to give up on it again because meeting someone online almost forces you to start dating right away rather than allow you to become friends first before dating. I really just want to get to know guys in person without the pressure of dating. I need more options. So, that's another reason why I'm checking out the mid-singles ward today. At least I'd know that the guys there are older, LDS, go to church, etc. I don't have to ask them like I would on a dating app.

Elder Uchtdorf's talk at the women's General Conference session last night was exactly what I needed. Summary from LDS.org:

"The purpose of faith is not to change God’s will but to empower us to act on God’s will. Faith is trust—trust that God sees what we cannot and that He knows what we do not. Sometimes, trusting our own vision and judgment is not enough. …

Faith means that we trust not only in God’s wisdom but that we trust also in His love. It means trusting that God loves us perfectly, that everything He does—every blessing He gives and every blessing He, for a time, withholds—is for our eternal happiness.

With this kind of faith, though we may not understand why certain things happen or why certain prayers go unanswered, we can know that in the end everything will make sense. …

Until then, we walk by whatever faith we have, seeking always to increase our faith. Sometimes, this is not an easy quest. Those who are impatient, uncommitted, or careless may find faith to be elusive. Those who are easily discouraged or distracted may hardly experience it. Faith comes to the humble, the diligent, the enduring.

It comes to those who pay the price of faithfulness. …

In our search for enduring faith, in our quest to connect with God and His purposes, let us remember the Lord’s promise: 'Knock, and it shall be opened unto you' [Matthew 7:7]. …

God 'rewards those who earnestly seek him' [Hebrews 11:6], but that reward is not usually behind the first door. So we need to keep knocking. Sisters, don’t give up. Seek God with all your heart. Exercise faith. Walk in righteousness."