My water polo coach, Coach Davis, not only taught the team how to play water polo, but he also encouraged us to eat healthier. We’d have healthy snacks after games and frequent weigh-ins to check our progress. I don't have any negative memories related to this, but I do remember comparing my body to my friend Jennifer's body. I thought she was skinny and beautiful and wanted to be like that.
At some point in high school I developed an unhealthy habit regarding eating. Of course, in hindsight, I see that, but at the time I was just trying to eat less. I remember being in the shower and counting how many items I had eaten that day. If I went onto my second hand, I would feel bad and think I ate too much. I would count fruit juice, soda, and things like that in addition to food. I didn't, however, count how many or how much of the items I had, I only counted the items. Obviously, this is a form of anorexia. I didn't put a name to this for a very long time (long after college), but that's basically what it was. I don't remember how long I was doing this.
One of my rules was that I would only have treats for special occasions, like birthdays. I refrained from having chips or things like that most of the time. I remember going to my best friend's sister's baptism where they served her favorite mint chocolate ice cream cake. I LOVED mint ice cream, so I had some. When I did have dessert or chips, I called it a "splurge". My family joked about me splurging because they knew it was a big deal, or at least I made it a big deal when I did splurge.
For breakfast I'd have a bagel with cream cheese. My lunch at school often was baby carrots, a fruit, and a yogurt. Sometimes there were special days on campus where local food places set up booths to sell food and I would get that if the lines weren't too long. For dinner I would try to eat a healthier option. When my family ordered pizza, I'd ask my mom to order a salad with Italian dressing for me to have from the place instead. When we ordered Chinese food I got veggies as one of the sides, but I certainly enjoyed the orange chicken and white rice with sweet and sour sauce poured all over it!
I participated in water polo and swimming for only my freshman (9th grade) and sophomore (10th grade) years. My best friends graduated and the coach changed, so I had no desire to do that anymore. Instead, during my junior (11th grade) and senior (12th grade) years I started running around the neighborhood. I went in a loop that was at the most maybe 2 miles. There were times I went a little further though. I also did crunches and tried to do push-ups in my bedroom. I thought it was weird when random people whistled at me as they drove by.
My brothers, Kevin and Steven, left on their missions for the Church when I was a freshman in high school. When they came back from their missions, the first thing that Steven said to me was something like,"You look like a stick!" I'd lost a lot of weight and was the lowest weight I'd ever been. I managed to maintain that weight until well after I graduated high school.
I was a Tomboy. My mom was a Tomboy growing up so she didn't know or care about girly stuff and didn't know how to teach it to me. As a result, I wore baggy boy clothes even when I was at my lowest weight. Even when I was very thin, I still felt fat. I had fat girl brain. I still felt like I took up a lot of space and couldn't fit into regular girl clothes. I couldn't be stylish or attractive. I couldn't shop at Forever 21 or places like that because the clothes never fit right or were "too tight" or "too immodest".
Here are journal entries I found that track my health journey in high school. Feel free to scan through or skip entirely since this is probably more for me than anyone else.
December 5, 2000
For water polo, we as a team are watching what we eat and learning what is healthy and how to tell if it is healthy. We are weighing ourselves every week or two to see change. Last check my weight was 179 lbs (least I've been in a long time!!).
January 29, 2001
My favorite foods are pears, apples, broccoli, carrots, honeydew melon, yogurt, Hawaiian pizza, roast beef grinder, In-N-Out cheeseburger with fries, and some other types of food. I try to eat healthy so I can lose weight. It has worked very well."
March 2001
June 20, 2001
I weighed myself on June 14 and I weighed 157 lbs! That's great considering I weighed 175 lbs at the beginning of the school year! :) I will weigh myself when school starts to see if there is a difference.
Last time I weighed myself, I weighed 151 lbs! About 64 pounds less than 3 years ago!! :)
January 20, 2002
Water polo has helped me keep my weight down. Lately I have been between 150-165 lbs. That is a big range, but that is the range. I am 5"5' and I haven't grown any in a while. What I do is I eat good cereal (Frosted Flakes, Raisin Bran, Cherrios, Chex) for breakfast. For lunch I eat an apple, carrots, and when I am in water polo, pretzels. After practice I have a yogurt that is fat free and really good! For dinner I eat what everyone is having and try not to over-stuff myself. I try not to eat candy every day (only on special occasions and even then not a whole lot. I sometimes have a little sweet a few days in a row, but it is okay right now because I am exercising it off). Sarah came up to me today and said I look really good! :) I am a lot skinnier than when I was 12! I took polo pictures on Friday and I think they will look good!
February 10, 2002
About water polo. Now that I think about it, I'm a little sad that there won't be a team next year. I enjoyed playing with my friends and especially getting the exercise.... Next year I will also have to find a way to still exercise so I can keep my weight down. One is by only eating a total of 5-6 things every day. Eating my fruits, vegetables, yogurt, and whatever for dinner. Not a lot of sweets. To exercise, I think I could buy some light weights and ride, walk, or skate around the block or up the hill. It would be something at least to get my heart pumping everyday.
May 11, 2002
After we ate, we had Mississippi mud pie dessert! Mint n' chip ice cream!!! Yum!! It was so good, I felt like I had blown my whole "diet". Oh well!
May 15, 2002
I weighed 151 lbs (that's good!). I did 40 curl-ups and 30 push-ups. I was in pain, but it almost felt good to be working out again! I measured the amount of space between the line and the end of the mat for the curl-ups and it was 4 inches. Now I can make my own and do good sit-ups during the summer!! :)
May 17, 2002
6th period we all ran the mile. It was a part of the fitness gram, but we used it as a Survivor thing. I got my best time ever 11:23!! It was so awesome! I was looking at past journal entries from the first week of school when I was in PE and ran the mile and I saw that I did it in 13:02 then. That is a big drop!! Yeah for me. I was so tired and could hardly breathe!! It seemed like I kept on telling myself "You're gonna make it". I did and it's cool!
June 8, 2002
Mom and I also went shopping and I talked to her about me being so health conscious. I was putting myself down, but I know I just need to not go too far. Keep eating good things and not too much. It's hard when there are temptations like ice cream in your freezer!!
June 17, 2002
After I finished helping her, I had a headache and was really hungry.... My headache was really bad so my mood was, too.... My headache went away for a little while, but came back as soon as we left.... I still had my headache and was beginning to get nauseous.
June 21, 2002
I also got the chance to weigh myself today. I weighed 147.5 lbs. Isn't that awesome. I think that is the lightest I've ever been! That's why I want to take pictures soon! I want to remember the way I look right now!! Anyway, I thought that was cool!
July 14, 2002
Topic: What is your secret to good health?
Well, I've been really wanting to do this one for a while now! This year I have become so picky at what I eat! Some might say I am being ridiculous! During the past year at school, for breakfast I ate cereal called Harmony and Smart Start that have lots of the vitamins, minerals and other things that the body needs. I would mix either one with another cereal like Frosted Mini Wheats or Cherrios. I would only have about 1 cup of cereal all together (maybe 1 1/2 cups) and not too much milk (don't want to waste it you know!! j/k). I would have that one day with Light N' Fit 0% fat yogurt. The next [day] I would have a low fat bagel (blueberry, cinnamon raisin) with bananas on top and sometimes with 0% fat cream cheese and yogurt. The yogurt is called Light N' Fit and is 0% fat and fewer calories. (I don't worry about calories that much). It is bigger than normal sized and it has a really good assortment of flavors. My favorite is cherry vanilla. Yum!
The reason why I ate (still do sometimes) so much in the morning is because if I didn't, I would be hungry before lunchtime came (like 2nd period!). I burned off most of it by walking around and swimming later. Then for lunch, I brought an apple (everyday) and a small package (prepackaged) of baby carrots (everyday). The every other day I would switch off eating fat-free newtons (which when I ate, I took them apart instead of biting!!) and pretzels and reduced fat Triscuits. I usually ate Newtons when I had bagels and pretzels and Tricuits when I had cereal.
After school (or after practice) because I always had had to eat something, I would eat some canned fruit or wait for dinner. It depends on the time I get home. For dinner, I eat what my mom makes, but when we eat out, I try not to get the things that are not as good for me. I still eat it, I just don't eat as much of it or exclude, let's say, fries or something like that. Like for Chinese, I always get now orange chicken, steamed rice, and steamed vegetables. It's good! At Home Town Buffet, I try to only take what I will eat. I also try to not overstuff myself. Even if I don't feel the fullness, I know when I am starting to get full and shouldn't have any more.
For desserts, I was really good during the year by not having them unless it was a special occasion like b-day, bishop's youth discussion, or Home Town Buffet. When I had it, I didn't have a lot. NOw that it is summer, it is harder. Now I have to limit myself to only having something I call "sweet" once a week, and when I do, don't have too much. Like with our year supply of ice cream in the freezer, it can be very hard. When I see others with it or want something sweet and don't need it, I have gummy bears and suckers. It works! So do pretzels! They take the craving away!
Overall, I tried not to eat a lot of fatty things. I eat fruits and vegetables, but mostly fruit. When we have snacks in seminary or Sunday school, I try to limit myself. I hardly eat candy, but I'm not saying that I don't! I do, but not a lot. Now that it is summer, it is hard still eat right because you do nothing all day (it seems) then eat. I eat the same things except for when we have french toast, pancakes, or cinnamon rolls for breakfast. If I don't have something like my yogurt for breakfast, I tried to have it for lunch. Sometimes it is different too because I run out of yogurt, so I have fruit with my breakfast (sometimes no banana either). It's always different.
Lunch during the summer is the hardest. One thing that I think, that drives me nuts, is that I don't want to eat meat for lunch if I know I will be having it for dinner. I just started thinking that recently and it is kind of dumb, huh? Well, for lunch I have canned fruit, apple, or apricots, sometimes yogurt, and then something else. That is the hard one. What do I eat? Well, I have been having PB & J sandwiches, left overs (a little) and one time Newtons. I've also had Pizza Pirates' salad. It just depends on what we have. Sometimes I force myself to have meat and it doesn't kill me!!! (haha!)
When it has been hot and I've wanted something like ice cream that is cold, in the beginning of the summer I made frozen fruit punch, which is really good! Just so you know, I can not pass up a rootbeer float!! Yum! Hot chocolate when it is cold! Yum! Also caramel cinnamon roll at Home Town Buffet or just a cinnamon roll. Yum!! Fruit. Yum! Anyway, I just try to watch my serving when I eat and make sure I don't over stuff myself when I eat big meals.
Since it's summer and I am not exercising like I was during school, I have started my own program for myself. I do sit-ups (have 4 inches between where fingers are when I lay down and to the end of the mat or where I want to touch). I have been doing 60 of those everyday except Sunday and then I do push-ups (with my feet all the way up against the wall that helps me stay up). It really works! I've gotten sore before! Especially with push-ups. I do about 45 now. After that I sometimes take Brandy for a walk (more like run). She goes around the small block then past our house down to Redwood, goes around the corner to Francis then to the cauld-da-sac Sierra Dawn, up the street, and back home. It's not really long, but it is a workout! I like doing it in the evening when I can before it gets dark. I've had time 1-2 times a week.
Last time I weighed myself I weighed 147.5-148.5 lbs. That is really good for me! I want to now stay between 147 and 160 lbs. Leave room for adjustment!
August 11, 2002
I weigh 148 lbs. I've been 146 lbs.
October 8, 2002
From this moment on until November 8, 2002, I will not eat any junk food (mostly talking about the fatty bad stuff) and will watch my servings. I still haven't gone to Kristen's to weigh myself, so I have no idea how much I weigh. I wan to take pictures sometime in November so I want to look good!
October 11, 2002
I weigh 145 lbs, which is okay since I don't exercise a whole lot! Just no more big big servings or fattening sweets!!! :)
October 21, 2002
I'm starting to feel like I'm getting fat again. I haven't had time to do any exercise!! It's terrible. I need to work on serving size. I'm pretty good at not eating junk food often. This holiday season, I need to watch out!
November 28, 2002
After we got that done, we all went to Home Town Buffet for dinner (lunch/Thanksgiving dinner). I am so proud of myself. I only got a little of eat item I wanted and didn't go back for seconds! I was practically full, yet I still had dessert. I had non-fat strawberry yogurt ice cream in a cone, a small square piece of pumpkin pie, and some carrot cake Amanda didn't eat. That is good considering it is Thanksgiving. I was full, but I didn't stuff myself! When I got home, I didn't have to take a nap, I went back to setting up my village. I probably burned some of that food off! j/k ... I started making caramel popcorn, just because. It was fun! And delicious! Now I won't be having any sweets until Christmas!
December 2, 2002
Amanda C. and I talked at lunch about healthy eating. She said that to her I have the perfect kind of body. I told her my "fat" history and she couldn't believe it.
December 11, 2002
I weighed myself at Rusty's and I'm 140.5 lbs! That's good. Let's keep it that way!
December 31, 2002
All this year I have been really good at keeping my weight down by not eating too much sweets or big portions. This last month has been really bad though. After my root beer float tonight, I have made a goal not to eat any sweets and only eat small portions of food and to continue eating yogurt, fruits, veggies, bagels, and things like that. I was exercising mostly everyday after swim ended, but now I haven't been. That is why I am making that big goal. The goal is for all of January at least. I have been at the constant weight of between 140-145 lbs. I want to keep it that way. I haven't weighed myself for a little while though.
February 3, 2003
Even though my period is on, I only weighed 138.2 lbs! I am in the normal range for my height, so that's nice!
March 4, 2003
For the last 3-4 weeks I have been 138.2 lbs. I'm glad. I won't have any big sweets and will try to keep small servings.
March 15, 2003
My mom went to the store then we went out to eat. I'm trying not to over eat. This week I will be better. I am not going to have any sweets (fattening or non fattening) until youth conference (that starts Friday!), and I am going to try to keep my portions small. My weight has been the same- 138.2 lbs for the last 3 weeks. What worries me is that I haven't had a real period in quite a while. February when I wrote I had it, it wasn't really it because it was hardly anything at all. I don't remember having it since Christmas break! I haven't done anything, so I'm not worried about it in that way, but I am just hoping that it starts soon so I know it will be okay.
March 31, 2003
I stopped the movie half way through so we could all have root beer floats. REALLY no more junk until we go on our trip. I've been saying that for a long time. At least I haven't lost or gained in the last month or so. 138.2 lbs. I hope it stays that way.
April 9, 2003
The first thing Elder Kelly said to me when he hugged me was, "Brat!" ... He also called me skin and bones and Twiggy.
May 10, 2003
Tomorrow will be a splurge day, but if I can control myself, it won't be too terrible!
May 11, 2003
I need to watch what I eat for the next two weeks now. Weigh myself tomorrow see how bad I'm at. I worry too much, I know.
June 18, 2003
I weighed 136.2 lbs today.
I weighed myself and I was surprisingly 132.8 lbs, which is less than I've been in a long time. It's nice though.
August 6, 2003
I weighed 132.2 lbs! Lowest ever!
September 9, 2003
I guess the most exciting news for today is that I majorly splurged from my "diet." I did bad today and it is all because I chose to eat the bad stuff. I could have resisted, but I developed a sweet tooth over summer vacation....My bad food day began with having an In-N-Out cheeseburger and 1.5 shakes. It was good though! Afterwards I had a peanut butter cookie. Then when I got home I had about 1/2 cup to 1 cup of the rest of my non-fat ice cream (bad after taste though!). I've decided that I need to implement an exercise plan. I also want to not eat any junk food (even nonfat) until October 7, 2003. No huge 1st and no second servings of food. I can do it, I've done it before! My exercise plan is to do some sit-ups and push-ups after I do my scripture study and on Saturday (when I can) go walking around the OHS track- 1 mile or more. That would be great IF it happens.
September 17, 2003
Today I weighed the same as I have for two weeks- 136.0 lbs.
October 7, 2003
Yesterday I ended my month with no big fatty junk food with Kevin's banana pudding pie. Tonight I had one cookie by Sis. Hoyt. I hope later this week to have a large root beer float! I've been craving that! I am still going to lay back on the sweets, but right now I'm splurging some!
October 8, 2003
Today I majorly splurged my "diet." I had a huge root beer float. It wasn't as satisfying as my craving thought though. Weird. It was good though. I will limit my sweets again for a while, except if I do go on a date on Friday. :)
October 13, 2003
Afterwards we had root beer floats- yum! I made sure not to have a big glassful this time. Reduce portions! Today I weighed 135 lbs! One month no sweets pays off.
October 20, 2003
I've been craving ice cream because it's been so hot! I had 1 cup of ice cream lite. Yum! I weighed 135.0 lbs today.
October 26, 2003
I mean, this week when we didn't have food, I ended up being the one who had to decide what to eat almost all the days. Then I am usually the one who makes the list for shopping for meals during the week. (That's probably because I choose to do that even when I don't have to.) Then I often find myself saying to Amanda or Ryan, "You don't need to get that, why are you getting that?" Then bug my mom trying to convince her or ask why she really needs it. I don't like the feeling I get inside myself when I'm doing these things. I shouldn't be doing it, but somehow I can't stop. I feel like I'm going to be the most frugal mom and be so mean to my kids that if they want anything extra, they have to go to Grandma Kelly for it.
October 27, 2003
Then we had dessert. (Yes, I had some, but not a whole lot and also the light vanilla). I weighed myself today and even though I'm on my period, I'm the same as last week, 135.0 lbs!
November 1, 2003
This might sound funny, but today in the shower I realized and really felt skinny. It's something I have always wanted and I realized I actually do have it. It almost felt like I was sucking it in, but I wasn't trying to. My stomach looks almost flat when I'm standing up and when I'm sitting there is not much. I remember when I could barely see anything but my stomach and legs when looking down. When I was looking in the mirror, I purposely sucked it and it got really skinny. I can't believe it! I don't care what anyone says, I am skinny. I can see my hips sticking out some! My hips might be big, but I am not fat!
How did I do it? Well, first water polo for sure. Four years of water polo and 2 years of swim total. On top of that, I first started eating more healthy foods like yogurt and fruit and less junk food/candy/fatty foods (if it can be helped). Then recently I was told, and I believe, that it doesn't matter what you eat as long as you don't eat a whole lot of it! You're hungry still at first, but you eventually get to taking a sm/med size portion and if you wait a little time and stand up, you get full. Limit portion size of junk food (and I limit also how often eat it if I can, too). I've been eating ice cream and things like that more lately, but in either low fat and/or low amount. I find myself getting filled quicker. I just have to my mind to recognize I don't need anymore and have control over my taste buds wanting more. I want to say am I am size 10 now, too, but I don't know for a fact. Currently I haven't been exercising any except for last night walking around. That go me very sore!
November 3, 2003
I weighed 133 lbs today!
December 26, 2003
Today has been an ate too much day. I am definitely not going to eat sweets in the month of January and try hard not to over eat! For the rest of this vacation I need to really make sure I don't eat too much. I've probably gained some weight this week. I was 131.2 lbs last week.
January 1, 2004
I've been good at eating good and have managed to now stay between 131.2 and 134 lbs. Very good!
January 5, 2004
Today I weigh 135 lbs, but I think it may have to do with me needing to start my period, eating more junk food lately, and being a tiny bit stressed.
January 19, 2004
I managed to do it even though I had a tension headache all day long. The greatest thing I did today was that I was able to finish reading The Girls Next Door, which let me see what college life is really like. It also let me see what it is like to know someone with an eating disorder. I managed to not eat any sweets today, but I did weigh myself and I am 136.2 lbs, which is high compared to last week (133 lbs). It may not seem like a big deal, but I like to stay close to 133 lbs.
February 9, 2004
I weighed 133.2 lbs today!
March 8, 2004
134.8 lbs
March 15, 2004
Today I weighed 132.8 lbs. I think it is better probably for me when I eat more lunch (a real meal thing, but a good size portion).
March 24, 2004
It also made me in the mood to make something, so I made caramel popcorn for FHE. I ate too much probably, but I am happy. 132.8 lbs
April 5, 2004
135 lbs :( Too much junk food last week! Also period coming soon.
April 12, 2004
I weighed 137 lbs today. :( I have eaten bigger servings than I've needed to, but it's weird because I was exercising last week! Maybe I got more muscles?
May 3, 2004
I had some frozen fat free whipped cream- yum! I weighed myself and I weighed 132 lbs today, so that was cool. :)
May 10, 2004
I was happy to see that today I weighed 134 lbs again like last week! I think it really helps that I've been mixing up my lunch menus a little so my body won't be getting used to the same thing all the time, and i am eating veggies once in a while at school. Still drinking more water than I ever had.
May 17, 2004
Weighed 132.8 lbs
May 27, 2004
I don't drink soda very often anymore (except for root beer floats), so after I ate all I brought for lunch, I couldn't help but take a small slice and eat some people's crust they didn't want because I mostly only like the crust! I ate a lot total, but it was fun.
June 21, 2004
I splurged majorly again. I need to control my appetite. Luckily I weighed myself today at Rusty's and I weighed 135 lbs! After tonight... I had A LOT of chips and a couple low fat ice cream sandwiches. I really need to do better. I ran for longer today and will again tomorrow.
June 23, 2004
Today I ran around my big block again, like I did yesterday and Monday.... It feels good. I made it without having any sweets today!
June 25, 2004
I'm still running for about 10 minutes in the morning. It makes me feel good.
June 27, 2004
Tonight I ate horribly in celebration of girls camp. I had an ice cream sandwich, some rocky road ice cream, white chocolate Reeses peanut butter cups, and almost a whole Hershey's bar! I was in the mood for chocolate, can you tell? Horrible, just horrible! Anyway, I showed the unfinished prom video to Rebecca who was involved in it as well. They (all that watched it) kept saying how pretty I looked. It made me feel good. That's why I need to not eat so much junk food so I can keep looking good!
The food was great. I convinced my family to get dessert as well, which made me super stuffed, which I hate being!! Yes, I ate it even though I haven't been and won't be exercising until my sore throat is gone. It makes me upset with myself that I eat so much like I did tonight when I really want to keep the figure I have. I need to do better again. Self control on my portions... Because I was so stuffed, I decided I needed to stay up for a couple of hours so I won't be going to bed with all the food in my stomach.... Now it's aprox 2 hours or so since we finished eating. I feel bad for eating so much.
July 5, 2004
I absolutely ruined my "physically renewed" just by the things I ate today. I don't like that I don't have that much self-control anymore.... Even though it's not a big deal, I ate too much granola at lunch and now I am really thinking what I ought to do is drink ice water instead of snacking on things. Sis. Hoyt wanted caramel popcorn so I made that this afternoon. I said to myself that I wouldn't have any, but, of course, I did anyway. Now that is in the house and tempting me. I don't like that! I don't need it! It was fun to make though. I went with Kevin to run some errands and he bought me a Slurpee. I think that the somewhat carbonation in that affected me. I just got a bloated or stuffed feeling that I hate! The only carbonated drinks I now usually drink is root beer in root beer floats and I don't have that often! :) ... I invited the Hoyts over for dinner.... My bad thing here was having bratwurst, which is really fattening! I had to try it. Then I had the popcorn. I just want to keep the figure or shape I have worked so hard to achieve! Once it's gone, it may never come back!
I started my Semester in Nauvoo program in August 2004- my very first semester of college! I couldn't find any weigh-ins or much about health things until I started school in January 2005 and bought a scale for myself.
My initial thoughts after reading through my journals:
1. Based on what and how little I was eating I'm sure quite a bit of the weight lost was muscle, although I was doing some exercise.
2. I had headaches frequently. That's not surprising because my body wasn't getting all the nutrients it needed, especially while doing water polo and swimming.
3. My eating disorder was overcompensating for my feeling of lack of control over everything and everyone. Reading those last few entries I wrote the summer after graduation gave me so much unexpected anxiety. In high school, I really wanted to do everything right- "strict obedience"- from taking care of my body to living the gospel of Jesus Christ and I wanted to make everyone else do it right as well. I was extremely hard on myself and not pleasant to be around when I was in my mood of wanting myself and everything and everyone to be "right" or "perfect". I studied the Word of Wisdom frequently as well as other topics like sabbath day observance, really struggling to understand how it applied to my life and the world I was living in that day. I think those last entries give me anxiety when I read them because I see how little self-control I actually had. I found myself thinking it makes sense I overcompensated the way I did. The problem is I did it without having enough knowledge or experience to know that how I was going about losing weight was actually unhealthy. I also didn't have enough knowledge or understanding of life and the gospel, despite my daily scripture reading habits, to know how to deal with separating my ways of thinking/believing how to live the gospel and how others choose to live it. I know that this is a whole other topic to search my journals through to try to understand, but I mention it here because I think the "why" of this part of my health journey is very connected to this complicated aspect of my life.
4. Throughout the journals it's obvious how much I struggled with anxiety, depression, and loving myself. I wish I knew then what I do now about mental health and all the things there are to help ease those feelings and thoughts.
5. After reading those last few entries I wonder, how in the world was my sister not obese like I was when she was my age??!! She is almost 9 years younger than me, so when I graduated high school, she was 9 turning 10 years old, the same age I was when I started to gain weight.
