Life is Good

It feels so good to say life is good, again. I feel like most everyone that reads this blog already knows the stuff I write on here, but here I go anyway.

Christmas with family was great, as usual! The only difference was coming back "home" to Utah for New Year's Eve. It felt good, though. I had a few extra days before returning to work and that felt really good. I spent New Year's Eve with my sister and then went to a friend's party.

Then work started again. Fortunately, I love my co workers, so it isn't so bad as it has been in years past. Now that things are in full swing again, I realize how busy I am, but I'm not complaining. Okay, I might be a little, but only because sometimes I come home after work and am so exhausted all I want to do is lay in my bed or on the couch and watch TV shows or movies. In other words, do absolutely nothing. But alas, I have a life and I can't do that everyday.

Work is a little stressful right now, though. We are government funded so we are required to do developmental assessments and continually document the kids' progress. We have a deadline to turn in their progress 3x a year and the next one is in a couple of weeks. We have to take notes on things we see the kids do and then input them into a computer and tie them with one of 38 objectives, some which have sub-objectives. We have to have 2 notes per objective per child. With 32 kids, that's a lot. I know part of my problem is I am not as familiar with these new objectives, so I worked extra hard on Friday to organize stuff in a way that could help all of us try to get it all done it time. There is a threat that we'll have performance evaluations if we don't get it all done and that really worries me. Not because I think I'd fail them, but because I am hoping to apply for another position and I don't want a write up to reflect negatively on me. The position I'm looking to apply for is called a child development specialist. The person is a supervisor over the teachers and does a lot of paperwork. Sounds exciting, right? A couple good reasons I want to apply for it are first, that I would make about $6,000 to $8,000 more a year and second, I want to have experience doing something other than teaching if something ever happens to Head Start in the future. The best part is I don't have to speak Spanish for it, which is the only reason why I didn't get the position I applied for last summer. I know that we will most likely get through this assessment period just fine, but it's still something that exhausts me everyday.

I started institute again last week at UVU. I'm in the Orem Institute non-audition choir on Thursday nights and I absolutely love it. We sometimes get to do cool things like sing at the last CES fireside where Pres. Uchtdorf spoke. I am also taking a class right before choir that is about women in the scriptures. I'm really excited about it.

I can't tell anyone enough how much I love my new ward. It's absolutely amazing. Great people, great activities, great everything. I've made a lot of new friends very quickly, which has helped so much in my healing process. It's hard to believe I've been in my new place and this new ward for 5 months now.

Starting this week, some friends and I in the ward are rehearsing for a roadshow that we will put on sometime in March. It's really just a cheesy musical we are putting on for our ward only, but it will still be fun. It will definitely be a comfort zone expanding experience for me, though. I've been assigned to be the narrator. The only catch is, that the narrator sings the opening act by herself. Yeah... that's going to be... interesting. Seeing as I've only sung solo two or three times and it's a hymn-like song that I've sung over a hundred times and even then I'm really not that great.... Yeah, this will be awesome. But I will give it my best shot. If it sounds bad... well, it will only add to the cheesiness of the show. At first I was really nervous about it, but I'm not as nervous anymore because I decided I need to think about it as I did being in the Nauvoo Pageant. I didn't have a speaking part or sing, but I learned many principles about performing that can help me even though it is a completely different setting and drama. It will be an opportunity to develop my talents and maybe even help me feel more confident to apply for the Nauvoo Pageant core cast again in the future. Even if it is embarrassing, it will be fun to spend so much time with my friends in the ward as we prepare for it.

My calling right now is family history co-chair and I'm loving it. My co-chair is amazing. It's the first time EVER that I've had a co-chair that actually wants to "co-chair." He's helping me to not take charge or take control of everything, which is what I usually do in my co-chair callings. I'm learning how to team teach, too. It's also nice to have the opportunity to share my interest of family history with others and to help people get started. I feel like the last time I had this calling, I was constantly "pulling-teeth" just to get people to my class and then when I offered to help people outside of class, no one was really interested. This time, however, I have people who seem excited to learn and want individual help to get started. I'm excited to help them and learn with them. My experience mostly has been with Scandinavian records and only recently I've started some research in the US, so I'm learning right along with them about somethings.

So with immersing myself in family history, being involved in the roadshow, going to institute, working, and spending time with my sister, I am really busy, but LIFE IS GOOD.

Geocaching with my siblings

Reunion with my college roommates/best friends

Taco bell date with my brother

Ward temple trip/Temple Square Christmas lights

Dates with my siblings- caught in the act of getting cronked

Made an amazing apple pie for my family

Snow angel or dead man?

Sister dates are the best

My co-workers

Me and my choir buddies singing at the CES fireside

My ward is just... cool

Holiday Blessings

I am so grateful that it's finally December! This has been a long year for me and I am in desperate need of the Christmas Spirit. I really appreciated the First Presidency devotional tonight. It was the first time in a long time that I've felt the Spirit's peace, joy, and God's love for me so strongly outside of the temple. It helped me feel better about not having much money to give people gifts for Christmas, too. It was a great reminder to me that the Christmas Spirit is the spirit of the love of Christ and that whatever I can give to others, if it is given in love, is just as good, or better, than gifts I could buy with money.

I know we all ought to feel the "Christmas Spirit" all year round, and I know we can. I think part of the reason why it is EASIER to feel the spirit of the love of Christ at Christmastime is because every where you go, people are singing about Christ's birth and what He did and many people are trying to do what He did by serving people who are especially in need at this time. It's really quite amazing that it happens, but I'm so grateful that it does.

As I've served my grandma this past year and a half, I truly learned a lot, including how much I can handle emotionally. I am grateful for the ward that I moved into in Provo. It is exactly what I need to heal emotionally and fill up my bucket so I can once again serve as I desire to serve. Tonight some friends and I went caroling to a few houses in the neighborhood. One man opened the door and as we started singing, he got a big smile on his face. As we finished and began to leave, he said that we really made his day. It felt so good to have done something so simple like that and see with his smile how much it brightened him. I hope that even with my lack of money I can brighten other people's days in simple ways. I know that it will help me just as much as it will help them.

So, this week I'm turning 27. I don't feel 27. Am I really 27? Yep, the math doesn't lie. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I've mostly come to terms with my age, but I still have a deep fear that being 27, graduated with a full-time job, a little bigger in size, and a little awkward, crazy, or weird sometimes will intimidate and/or repulse and/or otherwise be unattractive to guys that I meet that I might want to go on dates with. Really, all I want is to get married and have my own family. I love my preschoolers, but I worry that I might tire myself out before I even have my own kids. I also worry that if I get too old, I won't be able to safely have my own kids or have kids at all. Many people I know have had a hard time, so it's something else I think about.

But worrying and stressing about all that isn't very helpful, so I'm going with Plan B... or is it Plan C or D? I don't know, but that's what I'm doing. It's been quite an adventure. These past 8 years have been filled with so many great memories made with family and friends. I've been greatly blessed. Since I'm 27, here is a list of 27 things I've done in the past 8 years in my "Plan B" adventure.

1. Gone to Nauvoo 4 times- Semester at Nauvoo (BYU Nauvoo), EFY as a counselor (with my sister), Nauvoo Pageant as backstage Family Support and Family Cast.
2. Skydiving with one of my best friends Kristen.
3. Drove a manual transmission car in a "race" with the emergency brake still on. (I lost, of course. And there is a video of it on facebook, actually.)
4. Graduated from BYU with a Bachelor's degree in Marriage, Family, Human Development
5. Read over 20 non-school related books.
6. Hiked Mt. Timpanogoes
7. Hiked to about 10 or more different waterfalls (many multiple times)
8. Watched the play Wicked with two of my siblings
9. Became an Assistant Teacher at Head Start Preschool
10. Bought my dream car- VW Jetta
11. Made at least a dozen slideshows for friends and family of our fun times together
12. Endowed in the temple
13. Served as a missionary for a total of 4 weeks via the Nauvoo Pageant
14. Pet a real kangaroo
15. Got a perm (yeah, my hair is normally straight for those who didn't know)
16. Got hit by rock fall on a hike, which directly hit my teeth and no other part of my face (a miracle). Resulted in a shattered tooth and a kind of cracked canine tooth and some chips of other teeth. Got a retainer and I lost it on Mt. Timp. Got another retainer. Finally got a tooth implant, yay! Eventually got the chips repaired as well.
17. Got wisdom teeth removed and was awake during the whole procedure and could feel a lot of it. Had to do it in two parts because of that fact. After the first procedure I couldn't open my jaw more than half an inch for almost two weeks, so I ate baby food and other things that didn't require ANY chewing at all. Soooo glad that it wasn't permanent!!
18. Made 2 music videos. One with my roommates on a St. Patrick's Day to the song Ultimate and I called it The Ultimate Music Video (Not). It happens to still be on facebook. The other one was to "All The Single Ladies" on a Valentine's day with a couple of my roommates, my sister, and a guy friend. That one is NOT on facebook as far as I know.
19. I've eaten "crack" and have gotten "cronked" Ask my family.
20. I planted strawberry plants and had them in my very own garden for a year and a half.
21. Was an EFY counselor for 3 summers
22. Went to Niagara Falls
23. Touched the Nauvoo bell... I mean the REAL Nauvoo bell, you know, the one that is up in the tower of the temple at this very moment? Yeah, that one. :)
24. Shook Elder Richard G. Scott's hand
25. Learned how to make my infamous cinnamon rolls
26. Sang a solo in front of over 200 people (EFY theme song 2006)
27. Got a season pass for Disneyland even though I lived in UT. Went just enough times to make it worth it money wise, but made some amazing memories with my family. One being my siblings and I sitting lightest to heaviest in the boat for Splash Mountain. Each drop we came to, even the little dips, we got not one, but two waves hitting us, the second one always bigger. Needless to say, the final drop was EPIC. We ALL came off completely soaked. We managed to repeat the experience on another visit with my dad. It was awesome.

Here are some pictures:

Home for Thanksgiving

Christmas at my new place!

All of my Christmas houses are out this year

Friends in my new ward!

Paparazzi for my ward's Academy Night

Seven Year Famine

Fall is finally here! This has been a long , hard year for me so it makes me happy to already see Christmas stuff up in stores. My roommate and I have already started listening to Christmas music occasionally. :) I'm actually thinking of starting to set up my Christmas village very soon, too, because I want to enjoy it as long as I can since I will be going home for the holidays. It will take some doing because my front room is so narrow and kind of small. I am determined to make it fit!

As you could see by all the pictures in my last post, I have been greatly blessed to move into a good ward with good people in it. I'm ward photographer, which so far is my most favorite calling I've ever had. I'm making a slideshow like I did for my roommates in college, but it will be even better! I have the new iMovie so I can do some really awesome things, so I'm super excited.

Sadly, this will be a short term calling because I was also asked to be the family history co-chair. No surprise there, really. I just can't do what I'd like to do for both callings, so I asked that after the slideshow I only have one calling.

The most exciting thing recently was being introduced to geocaching. I'd heard of it when I was in Pleasant Grove, but I had no idea what it was. A friend in the ward invited Amanda and I to go with him and we had a blast. She has gotten at least one date from that experience, with more to come, I'm sure. :) No dates for me in this ward as of yet. ;)

In other news, I realized yesterday that even though things have worked out so well for me to move here and everything, there is still more healing needed. Overall, I've been happy and only exhausted from work, but I've noticed little disappointments still push be over the edge and I struggle to get back up. Fortunately, I have the tools I need to get back up, but some days are still just hard, especially when I don't have the means financially to do some of the things that I know help me get out of my rut, like going to plays. What matters, though, is that I get back up and keep moving forward despite whatever thoughts come creeping into my head that could keep me down.

For Halloween Amanda joined me in going to my Nauvoo pageant friend's home to trick or treat and hand out candy with her kids. Afterwards we went to a stake dance, which was a lot if fun, of course.

These past two days I've had no work and it's been wonderful. Today is the first real snow and it feels good to be home, in my sweats, watching some TV shows.

Pictures of my recent adventures:

A Fresh Start

If a picture speaks a thousand words, then 20 or so should speak a lot more, right?

Grandma Kelly's Funeral

Dave (my dad), Cindy, Bob, Katie, Chris, Tami

Grandma and Grandpa Kelly both loved Rummy, so we gave her a rook card like I gave Grandpa a couple years ago.

My family :D

And it came to pass...

And it came to pass that at the beginning of the eighth month, I had three of my four wisdom teeth taken out. The fourth was not removed because I was still feeling pain after being given all the local anesthetic that they could give me. Yes, I was awake for the whole 2 hour procedure.

And it came to pass, that after one week, I could still not open my mouth more than a few centimeters. But after a couple dentist appointments and a few drugs (namely, two different types of muscle relaxants, naproxen and ibuprofen) and painfully stretching my jaw muscle open with tongue depressors, I can now fully extend open my mouth (3 finger width). To give perspective, I started at 7 tongue depressors and finally fit 21 or 22 in between my teeth.

And it came to pass that on the thirteenth day of the eighth month of the two-thousand and twelve year, my grandma, Barbara Kelly, passed away. I lived with her for almost a year and a half for the sole purpose of taking care of her. Beginning in June, she started showing signs of dementia that seemed to progress VERY quickly. My cousin Nick came to help me since there was no way I could help her on my own. Family came to visit and even within their short visits they could see her rapid decline. At the end of July she was put into Hospice. I could go into detail about how it all happened, but I'd rather not. Some fun memories of those final months/weeks were of her talking about wanting a BIIIIIIG party and she just wanted to eat ice cream. She hugged, played, and slept with two soft teddy bears just like a little kid. She called them her babies. Even though her time was soon, she could tell I wasn't doing well with my teeth and showed concern for me. She was always so positive and loving even though she was not wanting to do what we asked her to do. She'd say, "Because I love you" or "I like... (something or someone)" or "You're my friend" or "No, but I will anyway." She was so childlike.

I am grateful for my last moments with her. It was the day before she died and she was fairly awake and responsive. She said she wanted ice cream, so I spoon fed her ice cream for dinner. I then talked to her for a little bit and asked her what kind of party she wanted. She said she wanted a "BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG party" in a raspy voice and big eyes. I asked if she wanted ice cream there and she said, "You bet."

Serving her this past year and a half has been a wonderful learning experience for me. It was really, REALLY hard in so many ways, but I have no regrets. I could go on for a while saying all that I learned and I know that I will keep learning from the experience as I look back on it for years to come.

And it came to pass that I moved to west Provo. Sometime in June I randomly started thinking about looking for places to live. It seemed ridiculous at the time, but I went ahead and looked online and got an idea of where I'd need to look when I did need to move and how much to expect to pay for a private room, etc. In August, my aunt suggested that I look for a place to live since it was just before school was to start and it might be the best time even though Grandma could live for weeks to months longer. So I immediately looked on KSL and found a place that just seemed too good to be true: big bedroom (with a queen sized bed), one roommate close to my age, 5 minute drive to work, basement apartment. I went to look at it the very next day with my sister. As soon as I got talking to the landlord and the roommate, I knew that was where I wanted to move to. As I talked with them about it, I got several phone calls and my sister answered them for me. As we left the house and went to the car, I asked about the phone calls and she told me that it was my uncle an my mom telling us that Grandma had died that afternoon. WHAT??! Are you serious! I couldn't believe it!! I was shocked, relieved, happy, amazed, and everything all at the same time. I just kept saying "wow" all the way home. It couldn't have worked out any more perfectly.

And so began the chaos of family coming in and packing all my stuff. I felt an urgency to pack so that no one in the family would take "claim" to my things as if it were part of Grandma's estate. I also just wanted to leave. It felt really weird to go upstairs in the morning and not have Grandma there needing me to help her with something. Really weird. I was definitely more relieved than sad to see Grandma go. It's been hard to see her and help her these past few months. I think the hardest part is having a year and a half of memories with Grandma when the grandma I want to always remember is the one that lived back in California and we visited every holiday or more often.

I hope no one thought I was insensitive about her death with how happy/excited I was about finding a place to move to so quickly. It helps that I have a firm testimony of the plan of salvation and know that she lives and I will see her again. She is with her husband, baby daughter that she lost, and her parents again. Now that's a big party and something to be happy about!!

And thus we see that God blesses those who strive to keep His commandments and rely on Him. I am just full of gratitude of how things have fallen into place, making this transition smoother than I ever thought it would be. The Lord has truly been watching over me, preparing me, and preparing the way for me all this time.

Now I have a fresh start and it feels amazing.