This past weekend in Arizona was exactly what I needed. Although the reason for going was very sad, overall, it was amazing. The drive was 11 hours or so long. I left about 1 1/2 hours later than I planned because the home health nurse needed to talk to me and needed me to do some things for her to care for my grandma before I left. I seriously wondered if I would EVER get to leave.
Going there, I met my family about 2 1/2 hours away from our destination so that I could have someone in my car with me as I was tired. Funny evidence of how tired I was at that point is that when I went to use the restroom in the gas station, I walked in and immediately saw a urinal and thought that that it was strange for it to be in there. I checked and saw that there was no lock and the door and thought that was strange, too. I then used the bathroom anyway. As I walked out a man opened the door and confirmed that I was indeed in the wrong bathroom. It wasn't until he was opening the door did I find myself hoping that it was a female and not a male walking in. Indeed, it was a man. Good thing he didn't go in earlier!
My family and I stayed at a motel together, and it was just wonderful to be with them again. With about 5 hours of sleep, we went to the viewing and met up with my cousins that I hadn't seen in YEARS. My sister and I talked about how we really wish we'd been closer to them as we grew up, which made it a little more sad to be there knowing we'd lost that time with our cousin Jeff.
The funeral and events with family afterward were really good. It was sad, but overall I felt peace and comfort in knowing that we will see Jeff again. I have a testimony of the atonement of Jesus Christ and His resurrection. It was made stronger this weekend as I went to the funeral and heard the testimonies of my family, my cousin Mark in particular.
I left the funeral with a resolve to be a better person and more like Christ. I had some major take-aways from this weekend. First, don't take family members (or anyone I love for that matter) for-granted. Appreciate them right now for who they are and all that they do for me. Thank them. Tell them that I love them. Do what I can to serve them and make them happy. Although it's fun to tease or make fun, or easy be annoyed by or upset by someone, I need to try harder to not let it happen intentionally for very long. I never know when I might lose that person.
Second/Third, enjoy life, enjoy people and make work fun. Work hard, play hard. I'm good at the work hard part, but especially right now making work fun and making time for fun is a really great struggle for me that I need to be better at doing.
Fourth, be an example of Christ by serving others, acknowledging others, or helping those who feel miserable even when I feel miserable. That is incredibly hard to do, but my cousins taught me that it is possible to do so.
I found myself really not wanting to leave and not wanting my family to leave. I loved getting to know my cousins and their wives and visiting with my cousin Jeff's wife, who is now a widow. I only wish I could do more to help her and my cousins, but most especially her. I can only imagine what it must be like for her to lose her husband and have two small children. She and my cousins will be in my prayers for a long time.
As soon as I came back from AZ, I had to jump right in to work and caring for Grandma. The break was nice, but I could definitely use more of a break. I say that with even more fervor as the past two days have been filled mostly with trying to meet the needs of my grandma so that she can be healthy, safe, and comfortable. I'm on the phone with her home health nurse multiple times a day with her telling me things that need to be done... by me or someone else. The nurse has helped tremendously, so I am very grateful for that, it's just hard to take it all in. It's a lot of responsibility.
This Sunday, April 1st, marks my one year anniversary of living with Grandma. It's been quite a year! It's crazy to think what things I've experienced this past year in caring for her and having to start over in a new place. It's been the greatest challenge of my life so far, and it's still hard. I've grown up a lot this past year, to say the least. It's also crazy to think how quickly my grandma's condition has changed, especially in the past month and a half. It's sad, too.
She was diagnosed with Congested Heart Failure a little over a year ago. She got a pace maker a year ago May. She was doing pretty good until she got the flu and then bronchitis in November, after which she started swelling up again, more and more and more. She got another pacemaker in February as well as a AV node ablation done two days after the pacemaker was put in. The swelling has gone down some in the past couple of days, at least she's lost quite a bit of weight since last Friday. Her legs are still "weeping," though. She is now sleeping in a chair in the family room, using a walker to get around, has to use oxygen almost all the time, and has a lot less strength for endurance of prolonged activities. She can still do most things, for which I am very grateful. She has more strength than she did when she left the hospital and went to the rehab center. Two major concerns right now is her memory loss and her swollen "weeping" legs. She's forgetting to take her medicine, among other things. I'm leaving work to take her to a doctor's appointment on Thursday to see about her legs and her cough. Her cough sounds a lot better than it did, though. Her condition now requires a whole lot more of me than it has this past year, so it's really hard adjust.
One of the biggest stresses is having to talk to the nurses and have them ask me questions about her and her care or tell me things to do to help her. It's also challenging to get Grandma to do everything she is supposed to do. Sometimes she can be stubborn, but she usually softens and does it after a bit of time. I have to start making her take her meds in the morning before I leave to work and call her in the afternoon to take her afternoon medicine. I'll be home in the evening to help her then. I'll be done with work in about 8 weeks, so after than it will maybe not be as hard, at least for the summer.
Good news is that on Friday night I'm going to see the play Bye Bye Birdie! I'm excited to see it. I've also been listening to Maze Runner on my ipod since I didn't finish it on the way home for AZ. I'm loving it! I'm also very excited for General Conference this weekend where I get to hear the words of the living prophets speak to ME!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Time to Breathe
Well, Grandma is home now and pretty much settled in. This is the first moment all day that I've really sat down. I'm not even ready to leave for AZ yet! Most of you reading this know already, but last weekend my cousin past away from esophagus cancer. He was only 31 with 2 kids and he was a really good man. I'm leaving to go to the funeral tomorrow afternoon and will turn around to come back early Sunday morning. Everything is taken care of for people to come by the house to check on Grandma and provide dinner for her for the next three days. She really has an amazing Relief Society president! I am so thankful for her and all the sisters in the ward who are ever so willing to help! Grandma has also has many family members really concerned for her and watching out for her needs.
She still has a bad cough and her swelling is so much that she has sort of blister-like things on her legs that she often has to wipe the puss or whatever it is off. It's pretty gross and swollen. Someone from the ward came by and said she's looking better than she has in a long time and asked if I agreed. It was hard to lie, but I had to, for grandma's sake.... Memory-wise she was better today, but the director told me to expect good and bad days.
Her Home Health nurse called tonight, which I was very happy about. She will have the same therapists she did in the Orem Rehab center. The home health nurse is coming tomorrow morning while I'm at work, so I hope grandma will be able to sign everything, etc on her own. We are thinking to give grandma something to wear that in case she falls or something happens, she can push it and it will alert me. She can't get up from the couch on her own, so for now she is only sitting at the table. She fortunately had bought a walker for grandpa, so she has one of those. She's been borrowing one from someone, I don't know who yet. I'm going to figure out her meds tonight so it's all in the container and she can take them without any problems, hopefully.
I keep having to tell myself to take a moment to breathe deep and relax. I know it's all going to be fine, but it's hard to be a caregiver and have so many other responsibilities. I have a much greater appreciation for my mom. How does she do it?! How does she meet the needs of others and still have time and energy to do things for herself and her own personal happiness? I remember her finding time, or making time to read the newspaper in the morning while she ate breakfast and we had to wait for her to finish. It was HER time. She also read lots of books while she supervised us doing whatever activity we were doing. I admire her all the more for doing those things even to this day. I just have to figure out how I can do it now myself.
This past month, but especially today, I've learned a lot about giving selfless service, just as my mom is such a great example of doing. It energizes me while I do it, but once I'm not doing it, I crash! All I feel like doing is watching TV shows, but I know there are better ways to spend my free time. It's been hard to give of myself at work and at home and still take care of myself, but I'm trying and doing my best. I am excited to see my family this weekend even though it is for a sad reason. It's a break I've been needing for a long time now.
She still has a bad cough and her swelling is so much that she has sort of blister-like things on her legs that she often has to wipe the puss or whatever it is off. It's pretty gross and swollen. Someone from the ward came by and said she's looking better than she has in a long time and asked if I agreed. It was hard to lie, but I had to, for grandma's sake.... Memory-wise she was better today, but the director told me to expect good and bad days.
Her Home Health nurse called tonight, which I was very happy about. She will have the same therapists she did in the Orem Rehab center. The home health nurse is coming tomorrow morning while I'm at work, so I hope grandma will be able to sign everything, etc on her own. We are thinking to give grandma something to wear that in case she falls or something happens, she can push it and it will alert me. She can't get up from the couch on her own, so for now she is only sitting at the table. She fortunately had bought a walker for grandpa, so she has one of those. She's been borrowing one from someone, I don't know who yet. I'm going to figure out her meds tonight so it's all in the container and she can take them without any problems, hopefully.
I keep having to tell myself to take a moment to breathe deep and relax. I know it's all going to be fine, but it's hard to be a caregiver and have so many other responsibilities. I have a much greater appreciation for my mom. How does she do it?! How does she meet the needs of others and still have time and energy to do things for herself and her own personal happiness? I remember her finding time, or making time to read the newspaper in the morning while she ate breakfast and we had to wait for her to finish. It was HER time. She also read lots of books while she supervised us doing whatever activity we were doing. I admire her all the more for doing those things even to this day. I just have to figure out how I can do it now myself.
This past month, but especially today, I've learned a lot about giving selfless service, just as my mom is such a great example of doing. It energizes me while I do it, but once I'm not doing it, I crash! All I feel like doing is watching TV shows, but I know there are better ways to spend my free time. It's been hard to give of myself at work and at home and still take care of myself, but I'm trying and doing my best. I am excited to see my family this weekend even though it is for a sad reason. It's a break I've been needing for a long time now.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
PB Ice Cream
This month has been absolutely crazy busy, but I still can't believe it's the middle of March already. Not that I'm complaining, because I'm definitely happy about that! This week's spring weather was just what I needed. It's made me excited to hike and be outdoors doing whatever I want to. The only problem with that is I still have 9 more weeks of work and I work indoors 7 of the 8 hours I'm there. So, in addition to everything else I'm suffering, I'm suffering from Spring fever.
Work is still stressful and draining. I can't get into why, but I can say that this warm, sunny weather has helped me be a little more energetic, optimistic, and able to cope with everything a lot better than I have been recently.
The biggest challenge this month was caring for my grandma. She went into the hospital to have something fixed on her pacemaker and they ended up giving her a whole new one. Then, her heart started beating too fast, so they performed another surgery, which has left her weak and unable to do much on her own, including walk without feeling dizzy. I drove back and forth between PG and Provo almost everyday after work to visit her and do whatever I needed to do to help her. I also kept her kids and other families and friends posted on her condition. It is a big job and very draining as well.
A week ago she was released from the hospital and went into a rehabilitation center. It took some convincing to get her there, but I knew that I would feel better about her being there than at home alone. At that point she couldn't walk far without becoming dizzy and she couldn't really dress herself or get herself up from the toilet by herself. She's made some progress in the past week, but I'm still worried. She is able to walk further with her walker without becoming dizzy. She also is able to get herself dressed, although she has to do it slow or in parts because she has a difficult time breathing. Her circulation problem is causing her feet and legs to turn purple and be numb or tingly. She was pretty swollen before she went into the hospital, but her stomach and legs have become even more swollen, so much that none of her pants fit her anymore. Her ankles and feet aren't swollen anymore, though. Her heart is operating at 20% efficiency, so it doesn't surprise me that she has these symptoms, but it's still hard to see her so uncomfortable (and maybe a little unhappy).
The rehab center is better than the hospital and better than being home, as much as I know she wants to be at home. At home I know she won't exercise as much, which is what she needs to do if her heart is to become stronger. I think at this point she might do alright by herself during the day, but it's hard to know for sure. I just know that knowing she is being taken care of when I am away from home for work or other activities has been quite a relief. With that said, I'm nervous to have her home again because of the anxiety and feeling like I would have to be home with her more than I have been in the past because she would need me more.
So, work is work and home is work.... It means I'm worn out and have little energy to do much. It also means I have to say no to doing things I want to or should do so I can rest and have some "me" time. I haven't had much "me" time, but I'm trying to be better at making it happen. And sometimes the only answer is having some homemade peanut butter ice cream. Yep. I need to get some more ice cream...
Next Tuesday I'm meeting with the rehab center therapists to talk about what needs to happen to meet Grandma's needs and see how soon she can come home again.
Work is still stressful and draining. I can't get into why, but I can say that this warm, sunny weather has helped me be a little more energetic, optimistic, and able to cope with everything a lot better than I have been recently.
The biggest challenge this month was caring for my grandma. She went into the hospital to have something fixed on her pacemaker and they ended up giving her a whole new one. Then, her heart started beating too fast, so they performed another surgery, which has left her weak and unable to do much on her own, including walk without feeling dizzy. I drove back and forth between PG and Provo almost everyday after work to visit her and do whatever I needed to do to help her. I also kept her kids and other families and friends posted on her condition. It is a big job and very draining as well.
A week ago she was released from the hospital and went into a rehabilitation center. It took some convincing to get her there, but I knew that I would feel better about her being there than at home alone. At that point she couldn't walk far without becoming dizzy and she couldn't really dress herself or get herself up from the toilet by herself. She's made some progress in the past week, but I'm still worried. She is able to walk further with her walker without becoming dizzy. She also is able to get herself dressed, although she has to do it slow or in parts because she has a difficult time breathing. Her circulation problem is causing her feet and legs to turn purple and be numb or tingly. She was pretty swollen before she went into the hospital, but her stomach and legs have become even more swollen, so much that none of her pants fit her anymore. Her ankles and feet aren't swollen anymore, though. Her heart is operating at 20% efficiency, so it doesn't surprise me that she has these symptoms, but it's still hard to see her so uncomfortable (and maybe a little unhappy).
The rehab center is better than the hospital and better than being home, as much as I know she wants to be at home. At home I know she won't exercise as much, which is what she needs to do if her heart is to become stronger. I think at this point she might do alright by herself during the day, but it's hard to know for sure. I just know that knowing she is being taken care of when I am away from home for work or other activities has been quite a relief. With that said, I'm nervous to have her home again because of the anxiety and feeling like I would have to be home with her more than I have been in the past because she would need me more.
So, work is work and home is work.... It means I'm worn out and have little energy to do much. It also means I have to say no to doing things I want to or should do so I can rest and have some "me" time. I haven't had much "me" time, but I'm trying to be better at making it happen. And sometimes the only answer is having some homemade peanut butter ice cream. Yep. I need to get some more ice cream...
Next Tuesday I'm meeting with the rehab center therapists to talk about what needs to happen to meet Grandma's needs and see how soon she can come home again.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Happy Cocktail
I realized yesterday morning how close I am to having a nervous breakdown. It's been a really rough year for me and I think my body and spirit have had enough. With so much weighing on me, it's no wonder that I've struggled being as happy as I usually am. After reading scriptures, my patriarchal blessing, and talking with friends, I've come up with things I can do to help my body, mind, and spirit become balanced, healthy, and happy again.
Basically, I'm just giving my body special treatment as it's been overloaded with stress and everything much more than it's been used to all my life. I'm waking up a little earlier to exercise for 10 minutes on the cardio machine my grandma has. I'm always exhausted after work so as much I aim to do something after, I never do it, so this is the best solution. With the help of a new friend of mine, I'm beginning to take what I'm now calling my Happy Cocktail. It is a bunch of vitamins: active B-vitamins, vitamin D, and folic acid. One of the vitamins I call the mega-vitamin because it is crazy what's in it, but my friend pretty much swears by it. They are all really good for the body and are supposed to help balance and produce those chemicals that make you happy. :) No anti-depressant for me! Haha. I am also going to start eating a homemade granola that is super super good for you and tastes good, too. I got that from my friend, too. He swears he hasn't been sick since 2008 when he started eating it. Most of the ingredients come from what we affectionately call the Hippie store, or Good Earth. Let's just say I really felt out of place there. It was kind of crazy even though it really wasn't that "hippie." I am also starting to use essential oils, specifically lavender. I may eventually use other ones, but I will start with that. My friend taught some of us how to make deodorant with essential oils in it and it's amazing how much even that has helped me to feel good. It has Melissa and grapefruit oil in it and they are both really good for you, especially Melissa.
I'm also going to continue sleeping 7-8 hours a night and taking time for myself. I've started reading a lot more again and I LOVE IT! I finished reading Ender's Game and now I'm reading Matched. I spent a bit too much money last weekend at Barnes and Noble getting the books I want to read. Oh well, as long as it makes me happy, right? I'm also loving watching some of my favorite TV Shows on Netflix. And when there is something going on, I do things with my friends. I have such great friends here.
Things are looking up again, so I am very grateful for my Happy Cocktail.
Basically, I'm just giving my body special treatment as it's been overloaded with stress and everything much more than it's been used to all my life. I'm waking up a little earlier to exercise for 10 minutes on the cardio machine my grandma has. I'm always exhausted after work so as much I aim to do something after, I never do it, so this is the best solution. With the help of a new friend of mine, I'm beginning to take what I'm now calling my Happy Cocktail. It is a bunch of vitamins: active B-vitamins, vitamin D, and folic acid. One of the vitamins I call the mega-vitamin because it is crazy what's in it, but my friend pretty much swears by it. They are all really good for the body and are supposed to help balance and produce those chemicals that make you happy. :) No anti-depressant for me! Haha. I am also going to start eating a homemade granola that is super super good for you and tastes good, too. I got that from my friend, too. He swears he hasn't been sick since 2008 when he started eating it. Most of the ingredients come from what we affectionately call the Hippie store, or Good Earth. Let's just say I really felt out of place there. It was kind of crazy even though it really wasn't that "hippie." I am also starting to use essential oils, specifically lavender. I may eventually use other ones, but I will start with that. My friend taught some of us how to make deodorant with essential oils in it and it's amazing how much even that has helped me to feel good. It has Melissa and grapefruit oil in it and they are both really good for you, especially Melissa.
I'm also going to continue sleeping 7-8 hours a night and taking time for myself. I've started reading a lot more again and I LOVE IT! I finished reading Ender's Game and now I'm reading Matched. I spent a bit too much money last weekend at Barnes and Noble getting the books I want to read. Oh well, as long as it makes me happy, right? I'm also loving watching some of my favorite TV Shows on Netflix. And when there is something going on, I do things with my friends. I have such great friends here.
Things are looking up again, so I am very grateful for my Happy Cocktail.
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| My split rock with a flower! Had one of these when I was younger and loved it. I have another one that is growing a pink flower. |
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| That's in my mouth... my tooth implant. |
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| Random bonfire in January |
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Perspective
"True,
enduring happiness, with the accompanying strength, courage, and
capacity to overcome the greatest difficulties, will come as you center
your life in Jesus Christ.
Obedience to His teachings provides a secure ascent in the journey of
life. That takes effort. While there is no guarantee of overnight
results, there is the assurance that, in the Lord’s time, solutions will
come, peace will prevail, and happiness will be yours.
The
challenges you face, the growth experiences you encounter, are intended
to be temporary scenes played out on the stage of a life of continuing
peace and happiness. Sadness, heartache, and disappointment are events
in life. It is not intended that they be the substance of life. I do not
minimize how hard some of these events can be. When the lesson you are
to learn is very important, trials can extend over a long period of
time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining focus of
everything you do. Your life can and should be wondrously rewarding. It
is your understanding and application of the laws of God that will give
your life glorious purpose as you ascend and conquer the difficulties of
life. That perspective keeps challenges confined to their proper
place—stepping-stones to further growth and attainment.
The
Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. Your progress
is accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every
growth experience you encounter, whether you welcome the experience or
not. Trust in the Lord. Ask to be led by the Spirit to know His will. Be
willing to accept it. You will then qualify for the greatest happiness
and the heights of attainment from this mortal experience.
Peace
and happiness are the precious fruits of a righteous life. They are
only possible because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ."Elder Richard G. Scott "The Atonement Can Secure Your Peace and Happiness"
A friend gave me the bolded part of this quote after Sunday School today. He had taught the lesson and because I had some things to do for one of my callings, I went in late. I don't know if the quote was a part of the lesson, or he just randomly gave me the quote when someone brought it up to him after the lesson. Whatever the reason, I am so grateful he gave it to me. It is exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. I've had a really rough past month. Let me correct that. I've had a really rough past YEAR. Lately it's been really rough. Basically, I'm emotionally drained from... EVERYTHING. I don't feel comfortable explaining all the reasons why here on a blog, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that this past week I've received help from a couple friends and inspiration from the Spirit that has helped me to know how I can be happy even while enduring many difficult trials, just like the above quote says. My friend giving me the quote was a tender mercy of Heavenly Father letting me know that I'm on the right track. Today I've felt happier than I have in a while and it's thanks to my friends and a very loving Heavenly Father.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Plan B
I was just officially notified that I did not make it on to callbacks for the Nauvoo Pageant core cast. It's disappointing and hard that I won't be returning to participate in the pageant or visit Nauvoo this summer. I didn't feel right about applying for family cast again as much as I really wanted to have that as a back up. In a way I was prepared for this disappointment, which makes the news a little easier to accept. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Nauvoo and the pageant. It's become a part of who I am. I can't help but feeling like there must be some mistake and I will still be a part of it somehow this summer. It may only be a matter of timing because I do feel that my association with the pageant isn't over yet. I will go back, not this year, but I will go back.
So, what do I do now?
I don't know the reasons why I am not to be in the pageant this summers. My first thought is that maybe my grandma needs me more than pageant does. My grandma's health has worsened in the past month. It started when she got the flu for a day and immediately afterward got bronchitis. Since then, she's swollen up again. She's gained 40 pounds in 3 weeks. The doctors have changed her medicine every week since she started swelling up again. All the changes confuses grandma, so I have to take more time to not just check her medicine but help her figure out how much of what to take when. It takes a long time, especially since they've been changing it every week! She says she feels "weird" and she doesn't do much stuff before she gets tired and has to stop. She doesn't drive herself places as much anymore (thank goodness). This past week I've started getting the mail when I come home from work because she doesn't have the energy to do that anymore (plus, it's cold and we had a couple snowy days).
I think the hardest is part is wanting something to do this summer when I'm off work that I can look forward to and also feel like I'm progressing and doing some good for others. I have some ideas formulating, but it's nothing big because I have a car and a tooth implant debt to pay off. Grand Canyon, Escalante, Martin's Cove.... who knows what this summer has in store for me. I'm even thinking to start doing family history again since I haven't done it in what seems like forever. That thought, as well as thinking about whatever hiking escapades I might have, excites me.
I'm honestly trying to only face and take one day at a time... it's all I can handle right now. I think pageant was to be the light at the end of the tunnel... an escape tunnel. But now that I know I'm not doing it this summer, I have to trudge on through and find light (and breathing holes) everyday. If I count my blessings it's not hard to find those things if I look for them.
Things I learned from audition for the pageant:
Follow promptings of the Spirit
I can do anything I set my mind to when I rely on the Lord for strength and help.
I have SO MUCH to learn!!!!!!!
There is power in bearing (or singing) a PURE testimony
Smiling makes me feel happy and more open toward others even when it feel too hard to do
Even things I've read/watched over a dozen times can and will teach me something new or that I need at that moment if I watch/read them with "new" eyes (as if I hadn't seen/read it before)
The Lord knows me, my heart, and my desires and He has a plan for me that I can't understand right now, but it will be GOOD.
So, what do I do now?
I don't know the reasons why I am not to be in the pageant this summers. My first thought is that maybe my grandma needs me more than pageant does. My grandma's health has worsened in the past month. It started when she got the flu for a day and immediately afterward got bronchitis. Since then, she's swollen up again. She's gained 40 pounds in 3 weeks. The doctors have changed her medicine every week since she started swelling up again. All the changes confuses grandma, so I have to take more time to not just check her medicine but help her figure out how much of what to take when. It takes a long time, especially since they've been changing it every week! She says she feels "weird" and she doesn't do much stuff before she gets tired and has to stop. She doesn't drive herself places as much anymore (thank goodness). This past week I've started getting the mail when I come home from work because she doesn't have the energy to do that anymore (plus, it's cold and we had a couple snowy days).
I think the hardest is part is wanting something to do this summer when I'm off work that I can look forward to and also feel like I'm progressing and doing some good for others. I have some ideas formulating, but it's nothing big because I have a car and a tooth implant debt to pay off. Grand Canyon, Escalante, Martin's Cove.... who knows what this summer has in store for me. I'm even thinking to start doing family history again since I haven't done it in what seems like forever. That thought, as well as thinking about whatever hiking escapades I might have, excites me.
I'm honestly trying to only face and take one day at a time... it's all I can handle right now. I think pageant was to be the light at the end of the tunnel... an escape tunnel. But now that I know I'm not doing it this summer, I have to trudge on through and find light (and breathing holes) everyday. If I count my blessings it's not hard to find those things if I look for them.
Things I learned from audition for the pageant:
Follow promptings of the Spirit
I can do anything I set my mind to when I rely on the Lord for strength and help.
I have SO MUCH to learn!!!!!!!
There is power in bearing (or singing) a PURE testimony
Smiling makes me feel happy and more open toward others even when it feel too hard to do
Even things I've read/watched over a dozen times can and will teach me something new or that I need at that moment if I watch/read them with "new" eyes (as if I hadn't seen/read it before)
The Lord knows me, my heart, and my desires and He has a plan for me that I can't understand right now, but it will be GOOD.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Home Sweet Home Highlights
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| Trip to Disneyland and Club 33 on Christmas Eve |
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| Giving Ryan this Alligator which Tyler named "Fluffy" |
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| Scandia with Ryan, visiting Steven at work |
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| Seeing Wicked at the Pantages theater in LA |
1. Watching Eureka with my mom (Dad and Ryan)
2. Sitting at the table eating dinner with all of my family
3. Amanda making a comment at dinner that made us laugh so hard we cried and almost choked on our food--- the best part is she even got my dad to laugh just as much
4. Making videos of my siblings and I playing with lightsabers on Christmas day
5. Going on Splash Mountain, just Amanda and I, and not getting wet at all (and we went on it twice in a row)
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