There are somethings you'd love to do again, but there are other things you wish you never had to experience even once, and one of those things is your dad being laid-off. That's right, my dad got laid off from his job today. I still can't believe it, but sooner or later, reality has to set in. Even though I am supporting myself with my own job, hearing that my dad got laid off is really hard. I feel the familiar weight of it all even though it doesn't affect me directly.
My dad went through a few jobs when I was a kid, but I was too young to remember what it was like to really know how it affected the family. However, the last two times he's been laid off stand out clearly in my mind like it was yesterday. This is the third time he's been laid off in 5 years' time. I think part of why it's affecting me so much is because I felt like they were finally starting to recover from the past lay-offs that resulted in so many financial issues.
The first time I remember distinctly because I was home from college for the semester so that they could go to Thailand for a two week tour. It was when he was going to go back to work (after they gave him a sabbatical) that they called him to tell him he was laid off and he'd go back to get his things. It was awful. I'm so glad I was home when it happened, though. It was the beginning of some really difficult times for my family and it was good to be with them to go through it until I went back to school. I just realized that this happened almost exactly 5 years ago. How ironic. I know that I learned a lot about my parents and my siblings during that difficult time and I grew closer to them because of it. I think we all grew a little closer to the Lord, too.
The second time was a couple years later. I remember I had just been talking to my mom a few days before about how excited I was that I didn't have to stress so much about grades because I wouldn't have to have a scholarship to finish my last year of school. I remember exactly where I was when my mom called me to tell me that my dad got laid off again. I was in the BYU Library on the second floor doing homework in the periodicals section. I paced back and forth in front of those doors and cried as I felt the bombshell hit and the financial security be blown away. The worst part was that without a scholarship, we weren't sure we would be able to afford for me to finish my last year of school. That was the worst feeling in the world. I think that is what made graduating from BYU even more of a miracle to me. I've learned since that my parents made huge sacrifices to get me there... causing them to file for bankruptcy a year or so after I graduated. I won't ever forget that.
This time when the bomb hit, I'm personally in a better situation, so it wasn't as bad, but it's still really hard. My family is everything to me, so whatever happens to them, happens to me in some degree. I hope with all my heart that this won't keep Amanda from being able to go to BYU. It's been her dream as long as it was mine when I was her age. In some ways, I feel the worst for Amanda because she's had to deal with all this in her teenage years, although I'm sure it's taught her a lot.
My family has been very blessed these past 5 years, so it hasn't all been bad. I believe the greatest blessing was Ryan being able to serve a mission. Being where I am today is a great blessing, too. I know the Lord is mindful of my family and will bless us. I just ask that prayers be sent our way that he can find a job soon.
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