Rejoice, again I say, Rejoice!

A couple hours from now I will be headed across the Mississippi River on my way back to Utah. It's hard to believe I've only been here two weeks because I have learned and grown so much. Yesterday I finally had a chance to visit the flats and see some of my favorite sites. As I sat at Joseph Smith grave, the Nauvoo Brass Band played the hymn "Rejoice! The Lord is King," hymn number 66. I found it very fitting for how I was feeling at that moment. Usually upon reaching the point where I know I will soon be leaving Nauvoo again, I am sad and depressed and think of how my leaving is similar to how the early saints left. This time it is different, although I think my feelings are more like how the saints felt when they left than I earlier thought. I feel to "Lift up [my] heart, Lift up [my] voice" because of the experiences I've had. How could I not rejoice? I have fulfilled many of my dreams-being a missionary for the church, being a part of the pageant, wearing a pioneer costume here, and even, as of last night, going on stage. (That happened because someone fainted during a scene and she was needed in the next scene, so they hurriedly asked me if I would take her place on that scene. It is one of the most powerful scenes of the pageant where the temple is being raised up, so I am incredibly grateful to have been a part of that.) To me it is evidence that God is mindful of my righteous desires and when I am engaged in His work, He blesses me according to my needs and wants.

So much is going through my mind and heart right now that I can't express. I feel that I came here for a purpose (everyone does) and I feel that have accomplished that purpose, plus some. I came here knowing it was a choice opportunity and that I was here for someone else, not me. It turned out that I was here for more than just one person and people were here for me in return. If you ask anyone in my cast why I was here, they would probably say my example of being a missionary. Everyday without fail I've had at least one person ask if I was on a mission or have or will serve a mission and had them comment on my skills and testimony. It is humbling to be told that since that is always been my desire. Last night I got 11 referrals and had extinsive conversations with some very special people after the pageant. I bore pure testimony to them and it felt good and right. Two of these people was a non-member couple. They were ripe and ready to harvest after the pageant last night. As I spoke with them and bore testimony, even when they were interrupted by others, they would immediately turn back to listen to what my companion and I had to say. They were drinking it all up. They already will be getting a cd and so I invited them to learn more about the church as I bore testimony of it's influence and benefit in my life. It will be a treasured experience that I won't soon forget.

I began and ended my mission here by reading Alma 26. It really describes how I feel:
1 And now, these are the words of Ammon to his brethren, which say thus: My brothers and my brethren, behold I say unto you, how great reason have we to rejoice; for could we have supposed when we astarted from the land of Zarahemla that God would have granted unto us such great blessings?


2 And now, I ask, what great blessings has he bestowed upon us? Can ye tell?

3 Behold, I answer for you; for our brethren, the Lamanites, were in darkness, yea, even in the darkest abyss, but behold, how amany of them are brought to behold the marvelous light of God! And this is the blessing which hath been bestowed upon us, that we have been made binstruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work.

4 Behold, athousands of them do rejoice, and have been brought into the fold of God.

5 Behold, the afield was ripe, and blessed are ye, for ye did thrust in the bsickle, and did reap with your might, yea, all the day long did ye labor; and behold the number of your csheaves! And they shall be gathered into the garners, that they are not wasted.

6 Yea, they shall not be beaten down by the storm at the last day; yea, neither shall they be harrowed up by the whirlwinds; but when the astorm cometh they shall be gathered together in their place, that the storm cannot penetrate to them; yea, neither shall they be driven with fierce winds whithersoever the enemy listeth to carry them.

7 But behold, they are in the hands of the Lord of the aharvest, and they are his; and he will braise them up at the last day.

8 aBlessed be the name of our God; let us bsing to his praise, yea, let us give cthanks to his holy name, for he doth work righteousness forever.

9 For if we had not come up out of the land of Zarahemla, these our dearly beloved brethren, who have so dearly beloved us, would still have been racked with ahatred against us, yea, and they would also have been bstrangers to God.

10 And it came to pass that when Ammon had said these words, his brother Aaron rebuked him, saying: Ammon, I fear that thy joy doth carry thee away unto boasting.

11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not aboast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my bjoy is full, yea, my heart is brim with cjoy, and I will rejoice in my God.

12 Yea, I know that I am anothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will bnot boast of myself, but I will cboast of my God, for in his dstrength I can do all ethings; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

13 Behold, how many thousands of our brethren has he loosed from the pains of ahell; and they are brought to bsing redeeming love, and this because of the power of his word which is in us, therefore have we not great reason to rejoice?

14 Yea, we have reason to praise him forever, for he is the Most High God, and has loosed our brethren from the achains of hell.

15 Yea, they were encircled about with everlasting adarkness and destruction; but behold, he has brought them into his everlasting blight, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love; yea, and we have been instruments in his hands of doing this great and marvelous work.

16 Therefore, let us aglory, yea, we will bglory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his cmercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.

17 Who could have supposed that our God would have been so merciful as to have snatched us from our awful, sinful, and apolluted state?

18 Behold, we went forth even in wrath, with mighty threatenings to adestroy his church.

19 Oh then, why did he not consign us to an awful destruction, yea, why did he not let the sword of his justice fall upon us, and doom us to eternal adespair?

20 Oh, my soul, almost as it were, fleeth at the thought. Behold, he did not exercise his justice upon us, but in his great mercy hath brought us over that everlasting agulf of death and misery, even to the salvation of our souls.

21 And now behold, my brethren, what anatural man is there that knoweth these things? I say unto you, there is bnone that cknoweth these things, save it be the penitent.

22 Yea, he that arepenteth and exerciseth faith, and bringeth forth good bworks, and prayeth continually without ceasing—unto such it is given to know the cmysteries of God; yea, unto such it shall be dgiven to ereveal things which never have been revealed; yea, and it shall be given unto such to bring thousands of souls to repentance, even as it has been given unto us to bring these our brethren to repentance.

23 Now do ye remember, my brethren, that we said unto our brethren in the land of Zarahemla, we go up to the land of Nephi, to preach unto our brethren, the Lamanites, and they alaughed us to scorn?

24 For they said unto us: Do ye suppose that ye can bring the Lamanites to the knowledge of the truth? Do ye suppose that ye can convince the Lamanites of the aincorrectness of the btraditions of their fathers, as cstiffnecked a people as they are; whose hearts delight in the dshedding of blood; whose days have been spent in the grossest iniquity; whose ways have been the ways of a transgressor from the beginning? Now my brethren, ye remember that this was their language.

25 And moreover they did say: Let us take up arms against them, that we destroy them and their iniquity out of the land, lest they overrun us and destroy us.

26 But behold, my beloved brethren, we came into the wilderness not with the intent to destroy our brethren, but with the intent that perhaps we might save some few of their souls.

27 Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to aturn back, behold, the Lord bcomforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with cpatience thine dafflictions, and I will give unto you success.

28 And now behold, we have come, and been forth amongst them; and we have been patient in our sufferings, and we have suffered every privation; yea, we have traveled from house to house, relying upon the mercies of the world—not upon the mercies of the world alone but upon the mercies of God.

29 And we have entered into their houses and taught them, and we have taught them in their streets; yea, and we have taught them upon their hills; and we have also entered into their temples and their asynagogues and taught them; and we have been cast out, and mocked, and spit upon, and smote upon our cheeks; and we have been bstoned, and taken and bound with cstrong cords, and cast into prison; and through the power and wisdom of God we have been delivered again.

30 And we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our ajoy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some.

31 Now behold, we can look forth and see the afruits of our labors; and are they few? I say unto you, Nay, they are bmany; yea, and we can witness of their sincerity, because of their love towards their brethren and also towards us.

32 For behold, they had rather asacrifice their lives than even to take the life of their enemy; and they have bburied their weapons of war deep in the earth, because of their love towards their brethren.

33 And now behold I say unto you, has there been so great love in all the land? Behold, I say unto you, Nay, there has not, even among the Nephites.

34 For behold, they would take up arms against their brethren; they would not suffer themselves to be slain. But behold how amany of these have laid down their lives; and we know that they have gone to their God, because of their love and of their hatred to sin.

35 Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all apower, ball wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a cmerciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name.

36 Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people, who are a bbranch of the tree of Israel, and has been clost from its body in a strange land; yea, I say, blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, dwanderers in a strange land.

37 Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every bpeople, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.
 
 
I don't know how many people have or will be influenced by the things I have done here, but I know that I can leave here rejoicing for what I have tried to do and what they have done for me and for the many seeds I have planted.
 
When visiting the sites yesterday, I felt like I needed to go to the Heber C. Kimball home. I love visiting the homes anyway, but I really felt like I needed to. I soon learned why. The sister missionary guiding the tour told me about the Kimball family crest that was hanging in the front room. She said that the words on it translated mean, "Courage, not fear." It really impressed me. That is exactly what the early saints had as they worked to establish Zion where ever they were. At the end of the tour, the sister felt that she needed to bear her testimony. She testified that we never go through trials alone IF we ask God in faith for help and the things that we need. She said that when Joseph Smith went into the grove, he KNEW that he would recieve an answer to his prayer. That is the kind of faith we need when we ask God. I know from my own experiences that God hears prayers and fulfills all His promises to His children, so I can also ask in faith KNOWING that God will grant me the help that I need according to His will. I can pray with that kind of faith and have the help I need as I go through trails. When she testified of this, I thought about my walk down Parley Steet and the impressions I had this past week when I did that. I am never going to walk down the equivalent of Parley Street in my life alone. I have friends and family around me to support me and bear the trial with me. I am never alone. At church today one speaker said that as we leave Nauvoo, Nauvoo is in us, we take a part of it with us. It's not a tangible thing I am taking with me, but something inside of me. I know that a part of me is staying in Nauvoo, too.
 
So, although I may shed tears as I leave, they are more joyous tears of rejoicing than they are of saddness. I will be back. I don't know when and I don't know now what my purpose will be, but I will be back and I am taking a bit of Nauvoo with me. Nauvoo has changed me once again. I hope to apply what I have learned to be a better sister, daughter, friend, roommate, visiting teacher, gospel teacher, and eventually a wife and mother.